At dinner, Shabbat dinner, Joanna mentioned that a friend of hers wanted a certain actress to play her in the movie about her life.
Aaron thought for a few seconds and said, “And I want Kate Winslet to portray me.”
After a somewhat pregnant pause, Aaron added” because she always gets naked in her movies.”
Monday, July 27, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
Story of the Day 7/ 06/ 2009
Story of the Day 7/ 06/ 2009
Another day, another reason to be confused.
There is the general confusion. I think that is the long list that includes having trouble finding my car keys.
Then there is the more specific confusion.
Why is the JHAH video on Jews of India one of our most popular? Are deaf people all over the world just fascinated by that one topic? They even re-watch it at a good rate.
Why does the expiration date on the milk say 6/31/09 when there are only 30 days in June?
And why does my son want to launder and re-launder every white towel in the house? Okay, that is because he wants white lint.
He has decided that white lint on a black velvet background will look sufficiently like stars in outer space.
After cogitating over this, I may need to go lie down for awhile. Except that I think he may have taken my white sheets to launder, as well.
Another day, another reason to be confused.
There is the general confusion. I think that is the long list that includes having trouble finding my car keys.
Then there is the more specific confusion.
Why is the JHAH video on Jews of India one of our most popular? Are deaf people all over the world just fascinated by that one topic? They even re-watch it at a good rate.
Why does the expiration date on the milk say 6/31/09 when there are only 30 days in June?
And why does my son want to launder and re-launder every white towel in the house? Okay, that is because he wants white lint.
He has decided that white lint on a black velvet background will look sufficiently like stars in outer space.
After cogitating over this, I may need to go lie down for awhile. Except that I think he may have taken my white sheets to launder, as well.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Story of the Day 6/ 30/ 2009
Yesterday, Aaron went to exercise at the JCC.
This is clear empirical evidence that neither I nor Larry are a biological parent of this particular child. There was some sort of a mix up at the nursery.
One of the other bits of evidence is that he towers over us- from a height that is currently 6’1” or 6’2” and still counting.
He also has hairy legs.
Okay, he could have gotten that from us, but I am stunned when I see him sprawled out on the sofa with these hairy legs coming out of his shorts….he was a little boy just about 2 weeks ago. Really!
But part of not being a little boy is that nowadays, he has his own plans.
He comes home from eth JCC all sweaty, and says, “Mom , Adam asked if I could go have dinner with him. Is that okay?”
Well, sure. So he changes, and leaves. I am not sure in whose car.
An hour or so later, I get another call.
“Mom, we’re done eating. Is it okay if we go see a movie?”
“Sure.”
You might notice, my spoken lines in this are rather predictable.
Not more than 15 minutes later, I get another call, “Um,, mom, one of the movies we are talking about seeing is R –rated.”
“Yeah.”
Gee, I got a new line!
“ Well, would you be upset with me if I saw it?”“Aaron, you are 18.”“Yeah, but they will ask me for my ID and I don’t’ want u to be upset.”Wait a minute, they are going to ask him for his ID- I mean a real one, not a fake one, and he has been old enough for a year and a half, and why is he even asking me?
I should also add that I can hear rather loud laughter, in the background. Adam must be really….enjoying this.
But Aaron is quite serious, so I respond.“Go see it, I don’t care.”
This is today’s story, though, because there is an addendum.
Adam came to pick him up, this evening, they are going downtown to the mall.
I didn’t know teenaged boys do this. Girls, yes, boys….
I let Adam in and yell upstairs for Aaron to drag himself away from the television.
While waiting for him, I mention to Adam that I understood he found our conversation, yesterday evening to be funny.
Adam laughed, he said, “Yeah, I was laughing, but the ticket seller at the movie theater was really laughing hard.”
I am glad he had some entertainment.
A second addendum.
I show my stories to my spouse, my children, my friends, before I post them.
I do this so that I do not come home and find all of my clothes scattered on the lawn, or worse.
I also do it because I often need to have the bits and pieces of conversations corrected- so that they are accurate- and even grammatically correct.
My son, upon reading this story , told me , “Mom, I wasn’t serious!”
He also informed me that the ticket seller was a she- Janet- and a little older than I am.
I believe him about the ticket seller.
This is clear empirical evidence that neither I nor Larry are a biological parent of this particular child. There was some sort of a mix up at the nursery.
One of the other bits of evidence is that he towers over us- from a height that is currently 6’1” or 6’2” and still counting.
He also has hairy legs.
Okay, he could have gotten that from us, but I am stunned when I see him sprawled out on the sofa with these hairy legs coming out of his shorts….he was a little boy just about 2 weeks ago. Really!
But part of not being a little boy is that nowadays, he has his own plans.
He comes home from eth JCC all sweaty, and says, “Mom , Adam asked if I could go have dinner with him. Is that okay?”
Well, sure. So he changes, and leaves. I am not sure in whose car.
An hour or so later, I get another call.
“Mom, we’re done eating. Is it okay if we go see a movie?”
“Sure.”
You might notice, my spoken lines in this are rather predictable.
Not more than 15 minutes later, I get another call, “Um,, mom, one of the movies we are talking about seeing is R –rated.”
“Yeah.”
Gee, I got a new line!
“ Well, would you be upset with me if I saw it?”“Aaron, you are 18.”“Yeah, but they will ask me for my ID and I don’t’ want u to be upset.”Wait a minute, they are going to ask him for his ID- I mean a real one, not a fake one, and he has been old enough for a year and a half, and why is he even asking me?
I should also add that I can hear rather loud laughter, in the background. Adam must be really….enjoying this.
But Aaron is quite serious, so I respond.“Go see it, I don’t care.”
This is today’s story, though, because there is an addendum.
Adam came to pick him up, this evening, they are going downtown to the mall.
I didn’t know teenaged boys do this. Girls, yes, boys….
I let Adam in and yell upstairs for Aaron to drag himself away from the television.
While waiting for him, I mention to Adam that I understood he found our conversation, yesterday evening to be funny.
Adam laughed, he said, “Yeah, I was laughing, but the ticket seller at the movie theater was really laughing hard.”
I am glad he had some entertainment.
A second addendum.
I show my stories to my spouse, my children, my friends, before I post them.
I do this so that I do not come home and find all of my clothes scattered on the lawn, or worse.
I also do it because I often need to have the bits and pieces of conversations corrected- so that they are accurate- and even grammatically correct.
My son, upon reading this story , told me , “Mom, I wasn’t serious!”
He also informed me that the ticket seller was a she- Janet- and a little older than I am.
I believe him about the ticket seller.
Story of the Day 6/ 29/ 2009
Story of the Day 6/ 29/ 2009
This story isn’t finished, which makes it hard to begin.
My husband works in Greenwood.
Greenwood is part of Indianapolis.
Sort of.
It is more white and more Christian.
The streets have names like Christmas Tree Lane and Mistletoe lane and…well, you get the idea.
And, my husband, with his beard and his kippah, gets occasional….comments. Even at work.
He has learned to cringe when he hears, “I hope you don’t’ mind if I ask something personal…” or one of several other conversation openers.
He has also gotten used to having a patient refer to his kippah as a “teapot”. Okay, he didn’t’ really get used to that one.
So, following one of those conversation starters, and after he has already started cringing, he is out and out stunned when his elderly patient starts telling him, after the initial explanation about how she used to live across the street from a rabbi, that she has a Torah.
She didn’t’ plan on having the Torah- she got it somehow when fire gutted the rabbi’s home and it was cleaned out.
Of course, did the rabbi actually have a Torah in his home? My husband asked her , “well, how big is it?” “Is it written on paper, or is it on parchment?”
All that he can figure from this is that it is a scroll, it is on parchment, and it may or may not be a Torah. (Other possibilities, which are really much more likely include it being a Megillat Esther ( Scroll of Esther) which would be found in a home.
But the real humdinger came next. It turns out that this lady has been wanting to get it out of her closet for a while.
She even called Shapiros and asked them what to do with it.
Now, I have to explain what Shapiros is….it is a Jewish style ( as in not Kosher) restaurant which is in a non-Jewish neighborhood. Well, if you count the residents of the old cemetery, maybe it is a Jewish neighborhood.
And my husband and I are both trying to visualize who at the restaurant would have answered the phone ,and what they thought was going on.
Oh, and of course, almost everyone who works there is not Jewish, just in case you wondered.
My husband spent a little time explaining to the woman that if it is a Torah, the issue will be if it is repairable or not- and if not how it will have to be buried.
At any rate, the woman- his patient with the unusual conversational topic of the decade, is supposedly going to drop it off for him at the office.
Since she has been his patient for about 15 years, and has procrastinated long, my husband is not sure what her time frame is.
So, the story is not finished. And we are not even very sure what the story is yet.
But it is……certainly something he never expected to happen to him in Greenwood.
This story isn’t finished, which makes it hard to begin.
My husband works in Greenwood.
Greenwood is part of Indianapolis.
Sort of.
It is more white and more Christian.
The streets have names like Christmas Tree Lane and Mistletoe lane and…well, you get the idea.
And, my husband, with his beard and his kippah, gets occasional….comments. Even at work.
He has learned to cringe when he hears, “I hope you don’t’ mind if I ask something personal…” or one of several other conversation openers.
He has also gotten used to having a patient refer to his kippah as a “teapot”. Okay, he didn’t’ really get used to that one.
So, following one of those conversation starters, and after he has already started cringing, he is out and out stunned when his elderly patient starts telling him, after the initial explanation about how she used to live across the street from a rabbi, that she has a Torah.
She didn’t’ plan on having the Torah- she got it somehow when fire gutted the rabbi’s home and it was cleaned out.
Of course, did the rabbi actually have a Torah in his home? My husband asked her , “well, how big is it?” “Is it written on paper, or is it on parchment?”
All that he can figure from this is that it is a scroll, it is on parchment, and it may or may not be a Torah. (Other possibilities, which are really much more likely include it being a Megillat Esther ( Scroll of Esther) which would be found in a home.
But the real humdinger came next. It turns out that this lady has been wanting to get it out of her closet for a while.
She even called Shapiros and asked them what to do with it.
Now, I have to explain what Shapiros is….it is a Jewish style ( as in not Kosher) restaurant which is in a non-Jewish neighborhood. Well, if you count the residents of the old cemetery, maybe it is a Jewish neighborhood.
And my husband and I are both trying to visualize who at the restaurant would have answered the phone ,and what they thought was going on.
Oh, and of course, almost everyone who works there is not Jewish, just in case you wondered.
My husband spent a little time explaining to the woman that if it is a Torah, the issue will be if it is repairable or not- and if not how it will have to be buried.
At any rate, the woman- his patient with the unusual conversational topic of the decade, is supposedly going to drop it off for him at the office.
Since she has been his patient for about 15 years, and has procrastinated long, my husband is not sure what her time frame is.
So, the story is not finished. And we are not even very sure what the story is yet.
But it is……certainly something he never expected to happen to him in Greenwood.
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