Story of the Day 12/29/2008

My college roommate, Lynne, who is also the aunt of my children , sent us Hannukah gifts.
Most of them were obvious.
Chocolates.
(Yes, she knows us well.)

But one had a cryptic message attached.
“Extra bonus points if you can figure out what this is.”

Larry thinks it might be a portable gas mask.

Anyone else wanting to venture a guess?

Story of the Day 12/26/2008

I have been fishing.
Not the kind my dad used to take us up to the French River in Canada to do. The kind that has a funny spelling.Phishing? I am not sure.
Or maybe I was phished, is a better description?
My eldest, child, who is 28 years younger than I am and 28 years more computer savvy than I , was greatly exasperated . With me.
"What did you do!!!!!"
I am fairly certain that requires a few more exclamation marks to accurately convey the tone of voice, as she yelled at me.
Apparently, I should never click on any links from any email.
Not even from some photo program.
Never.
And I have compromised my sensitive ID information.

Esther was very concerned by what I could have given away by using my default user name and default password.
I had to think.
Hard.
I had to think hard or it s hard for me to think or…Anyhow, I finally figured out the sum of what I have compromised.
My account at the Dayton Daily News to read their articles on line.My account at another Ohio newspaper, for the same purpose.A recipe site, for recipe sharing.And my account at a a Jewish educational site.
That is the only one with any potential financial repercussions.I suppose they could download a number of Rabbi Beryl Wein audio programs, and I would be charged for them.
I am , now, pondering if I should change that accounts password.
Maybe it would be good for them to listen to some ,and I should leave it alone…….Meanwhile, my 20 year old is mortified to be related to me.

So, what is new?

Story of the Afternoon 12/26/2008

I am alone at home.
Larry is out. He has run to the synagogue to make sure the lights are on and the coffee pot is plugged in.
In all the years he has done this, Friday afternoon, the timer for the coffee pot for Shabbat has yet to be set correctly.
He finds this reassuring.
No wonder her hasn't murdered me yet for my inherent idiocies….
And the children are out.
Running errands.
The library.The post office.Target.Well, it is right near the library ad the post office.
And my cell phone rang.
Esther ."Mom, they have chocolate marked half off. Should I buy some?"
Then, she realizes that she is a Margolis and that was a stupid unquestioned to ask.

addendum

esther has emailed me:
good idea, body art!

Story of the Day 12/21/2008

"Aimless."
My daughter tells me that she is now aimless.
This is Esther, the college student.
Then she explains.
For years ( how many years, I think, she is only 20.) She has had a goal. She has wanted people to stop her and say, "Cool shoes!"
A couple of months ago, she designed a pair of shoes.
There is a website, and you can do that, and pay, and they will make them and send them to you.
So , now , Esther has a pair of shoes that cause New Yorkers to stop her in the street and in stores, and at the library and say, "Cool shoes!"
And having achieved her goal, she feels aimless.

I've had two thoughts.
I can't help myself, I do occasionally think; even worry.
One, is that she needs to set higher goals for herself.
Two, that hopefully, her next goal will not involve body art.

Story of the Day 12/17/2008

I am not sure I exist.
I received an email, this morning, from AOL pictures. They are closing their on-line service. I can either download my albums to my computer or have the images transferred to another service.
I didn’t remember what images I had put up, so I tried to check.
I don’t.
I do have an account, though.
I know because I was able to sign in.
I used my default name and default password.
The name and password I use for everything that isn’t important.
It is not the name or password I use for any email accounts or for pay pal, just for things like getting articles from the Dayton Daily News.
I am left wondering if I set up an account and then just never used it.
I mean, would I even remember I had it?
I didn’t, so that answers that question.
Or did I need an account to check someone else’s pictures?
You know, the friends who send you links to their online albums, but you can only access them if you set up an account.
Or……
At any rate, although I seem to have a name and a location, I am sans any substance…..what an existence- at least in the AOL world.

Story of the Day 12/16/2008

I am waiting for the furnace repair person.
This has prompted several, “oh no, I hope you aren’t freezing!” remarks from people who have found out why I have been sitting at home for hours.
They really should be saying, “While you are home, clean your house!”
But, since no one has said that, I am not.
And, with regard to the comments I have been receiving, I am not freezing, as it is actually a balmy 80.

Which is the problem.

You see, despite the fact that we have a nice furnace and two thermostats- yes , two, not one, to zone the heat, the furnace is currently operating under the assumption that there are two settings, “80” and “off”. Off isn’t’ a very good setting, since the weather is freeze your butt off weather . But even though our family is comprised of people who like to walk around scantily clad , and then complain that they are cold, 80 degrees is a real problem.

Because we have to pay for the fuel to get it…..

So, I am waiting for the furnace repair person, and politely am overdressed, since I doubt it would make a good impression to answer the door in a bathing suit……

Story of the Evening 12/14/2008

Aaron came home from work to tell us that someone was fired.
He wasn’t the someone.

This other someone had made a racist remark. About how Martin Luther King , jr. should have been assassinated earlier.
The boss is black. The employee who was fired is complaining that it was his First Amendment right to say that.

I told Aaron, “No, it isn’t, because that is intimidation and harassment.”
Having any view you want is your right, and expressing it in a different venue may be fine, but not when you use it to intimidate someone at work. Or to try to.
This must be the karma of the day, though.

Our Youtube account, not the one with the funny Aaron videos, but the Jewish educational site in ASL- well, I got a nice little email directed to me through it- it said “Die Bitch” and had a video attachment- the sounds of a Jew being executed.

I spent about 30 minutes trying to figure out how to report it to YouTube. According to their instructions, I was supposed to click on two links that have been removed in order to get a form to fill out. But since the links have been removed….
I knew this because I had two Youtube windows open, one with eth instruction on what to click on, in order, and the other being my window to do the process…..
I ended up faxing the info to their office.

I don’t’ expect them to actually do anything about it….
But I am glad the movie theater was able to do something about their situation.

Delayed Post- Story of the Day 12/ 06/ 2008 #2

Shabbat was lovely.
We went to services, and then we came home and ate lunch with Amy and Neal.
Amy is Larry’s sister, and Neal is her husband.
Normally, I don’t’ bother making lunch for Shabbat.
At our synagogue , the Kiddush - the bite of stuff they have to go with eth grape juice- is lavish- at the very least, there are bagels and cream cheese and cakes. But often, there is also fresh fruit, a green salad, tuna salad, and some home made cookies.
Let’s be honest- this is much better fare than my kids would get from me- so we sit and eat and shmooze.
Shmoozing is this Jewish thing.
Italians are also known for having the ability- but Jews, especially after services and in the presence of food, are real experts.
Now, remember that I had made lunch for Amy and Neal and us- but that was to be at 1 PM, and services were over at 11:25..and there was all of this good food just staring at us….and it wasn’t’ just the same old same old. Not only was it not just the bagels and cream cheese, it also wasn’t; just the tuna and green salad.
Because it was an annyo.

An Annyo is the anniversary of someone’s death, and it is traditional to make a Kiddush meal for after services in memory of your loved one.
So, with the admonishment to the kids that they could eat- just not a lot, since we would be also eating at home, we went and sat and ate and schmoozed.

I got to Shmooze with Susan. Susan is the owner of a number of really cute kids, two of whom share the same birthdate- same day , same year…you know, twins.
And their birthday - well, their dad wanted to make it special- so he decided they would go see the Red Gold factory.
Red Gold is a tomato company- they make canned tomatoes, sauce , paste, etc- and kosher! Kosher of not even the questionable type.
It was an enjoyable outing.
But on the way home, they hit a deer.

The next thing Susan knew, she had a phone call to go pick them up. They were unhurt, the truck…well, but they were fine and waiting for the tow truck to come.
A little later, as she was driving to get them, she got a second call.
The tow truck had arrived and was giving them a lift to the repair place- she should pick them up there.

Well, she was thrilled to see her husband and her sons all in one piece- and told them, “at least no one was hurt”
To which, her youngest son ( not one of the twins) replied, “But what about the deer?”

It has also created quite a problem for the family.
You see, the twins got to hit a deer and to ride in a tow truck for their birthday. How are they going to match this, none-the-less top it?
Already their youngest son is talking about getting a tow truck ride for his birthday!

Story of the Evening 12/12/2008

Over Shabbat dinner, Aaron told us about his day.

He got his Hebrew exam back. He didn’t do very well. Nothing new. Hebrew has been a struggle for him, but taking a foreign language is a requirement for the honors diploma, so Aaron has been struggling through.
He showed his graded test paper to another student in the class, a score of 14%.
The student was stunned.
“But, Aaron, you‘re Israeli”
“No, I was born in Ohio, and grew up in Indy.”
"But your parents are from Israel!"
“No, they are from Ohio and New York.”
The student stared at Aaron for a couple of seconds, and Aaron said “I know the yarmulke fools people.”
According to Aaron, this student, who is also Jewish, took Aaron’s kippah to mean he was from Israel.

Larry said, “I get that, too. People will ask, “How long has it been since you’ve been home?”Of course, he was hopefully home with us, as recently as that morning, but he doesn’t’ want to disillusion those people who think he is an exotic Israeli.
Heck, we live in Indiana, so, how would they know the difference between a New York and an Israeli accent.

Story of the Day 12/12/2008

At my son’s high school, there is a class called Avid…. They have people come in and talk about different topics.
One year, the mayor came in and spoke to them. Another time it was someone from the cooking channel.
This Friday, they had two seniors from the Deaf School.
If you didn’t get this, from context, the “guests” were Deaf. And the interpreter didn’t’ show up.

So, a student asked Aaron during lunch if he could come and interpret for them.
Aaron said,. “Why don’t’ you get Ms. Blankenbaker( his resource teacher. ) She could do a better job than me.”
But Ms. Bankenbaker wasn’t at school…so, Aaron asked his English teacher if he could interpret during his English class.
She said ,"Yes."
He got his stuff and went off to interpret for the two guys.

It was a very racial experience.
First, Aaron interpreted a question one of the Deaf kids (both were white) had for the class, ”Do you have black classes?”
The reaction was “What?”So Aaron asked the Deaf kid, “B-L-A-C-K?”And he said, “No, B-L-O-C-K.”
Well, they don’t’ have block classes.
Then one of the students from the Avid class asked if the Deaf kids listened to music.
“Yes."
“Well, what do you like?”
“Three 6 Mafia”
I have no idea what that is, but the black kids in the class all went “Yeah!”
Then, when asked if they had girl friends, one of the Deaf students answered, “No, I am a single player.”
That same student was eager to get phone numbers from some of the class…….

According to Aaron, it was more fun than English class. And it was possibly more educational than when the mayor spoke.
Personally, I think Ms. Blankenbaker is really glad she was absent.

Story of the Day 12/ 8/ 2008

This didn’t’ happen, today.
It happened , last week, but I was short on time, so you are getting it today.
Too bad.

Those people who come and ring the doorbell and knock on your door- selling things-
in my neighborhood, we get quite a few, but they tend to be sellinga very limited variety of things. Lawn mowing services, and magazines.
Every so often, some young man- so far we haven't had a young wamoan do this- comes by with a clipboard and a thick folder, and tells us how they are in this program and they have this goal and as a part of helping them to reach this goal to….they are selling magazines and could we please just look at the list they have.

My answer is always , “no”.
Not always the same , “no.” , though.
My reaction is usually in direct proportion to how aggressive they are.
If I get a young man who is a bit shy, I will explain nicely that we are not interested and wish them a good day.
If they are aggressive, I do what I did with this most recent one. I say, “We do not accept solicitations.”
That usually gets rid of them, unless they are incredibly aggressive, and then I have to up the ante by shutting the door on them and cutting off their shpiel.

However, this time it elicited a very unexpected response.
The young man said, “I am certainly not a solicitor! That is illegal!” And gave me a very upset look.
I thought about saying, “ No, you don’t’ much look like you are bright enough to be a lawyer.” But since he was already stomping off towards the next house….

Addendum Story of the Day 12/ 6/ 2008

My son emailed me . It seems I have left off some of the important details from the Story.....
so here they are lifted from his email to me:

well uncle neal added on shoelaces, and he said it now looks like shoelaces....or a penis with stitches. then i said, you can add black to the bottom so it'll look like rubber soles, and you said "or like pubic hair". lol.

Story of the Day 12/ 6/ 2008

We were decorating the centerpieces for the dinner.
Every year, our synagogue has a “Hanukkah “ dinner and there is an honoree. Someone who has served the synagogue in one way or another.
This year, they chose my husband.
This has been humorous.
Not because he doesn’t deserve it, he does, but because people keep coming up and congratulating me…and , as far as I can figure , the only thing I have done is to marry the guy.

Every year, the centerpieces are something that is in line with the honoree's interests.
There have been some interesting centerpieces.
One year, it was baskets of golf balls. Nice, until some of the kids figured out they could throw them.
Very few children are ever present at the dinner, I didn’t mean they threw then , then- I meant later, during services- when the used centerpieces had been moved to the coat closet.
The coat closet is the place in our synagogue where things get put when no one knows where to put them.
You would be amazed at what you can find there .
Yes, there are umbrellas and hats that have been forgotten, and golf balls, but there are also things like maps of the cemetery….and a dog chew toy. Which is especially interesting, because as far as I know, there has yet to be a dog in our synagogue.

So, what is my husband interested in?
The mikveh.

Okay, he isn’t‘ interested in the mikveh- because we don’t have one. He is interested in having it built.
The space is there. The pipes are ready and waiting in the synagogue’s basement.
The only thing stopping its construction is about $200,000.
Only.

Well, Parisa, a quick thinker…or maybe I am wrong and she was mulling this over for weeks before presenting this idea….suggested we use the really nice vases- round bowls that the synagogue has for floral arrangements- filled with water, tinted blue, and with naked Barbie dolls in them- wearing a sash or something saying “Support the Mikveh Fund.”

I thought it was a wonderful idea.
Vandra, the artist, with whom I shared this idea, thought it was great.
Anne chuckled, and thought we should do it.
But after 48 hours of thought, my husband vetoed the idea.
Sigh……

We ended up making tzeddakah boxes labeled “The Mikveh Fund“.

Hours of cutting slots for coins in the tops of wooden boxes from Michael’s, spray painting them with 3 coats of a purple- blue to coordinate with the table cloths, and then hours of decorating them.
This last chore was divided three ways. There were 15 boxes.
Parisa took some, Rakhel, her mother , took some, and I was left with 7.
This might sound a bit lopsided, but I had help- my daughter, Sarah, and my in-laws, Amy and Neal. So, it was really lopsided in my favor.
And Saturday night, after Shabbat was over, we sat and painted.

Lopsided? Not in my favor, after all.
We never dreamt that Rakhel had a stroke of genius and realized that the acrylic paints were a pain to work with- so she used a batch of colored sharpie markers… which ended up making her boxes look a thousand times better than ours!
BUT did she call us and share her brainstorm?
No.
So , we struggled away with out brushes and paints.
And some of us struggled more than others.

Neal, after spending a great deal of time painting a smiley face, and a shoe- showed the box to Aaron, and asked, “What do you think this is?”
“A penis?”

Fortunately, Neal has not decided to give up his day job and go into the box decorating business…..
And, fortunately, he decided to work at that shoe a bit more- and with some additional colors- not just the original pink……

And, hopefully, no one else thought that it was ….

Story of the Day 12/ 2/ 2008

I was supposed to be out drawing naked people.
That is what I do on Tuesday evenings.
I did all the right things in the right order.
I helped Sarah with her homework.
I got out some frozen food that could, in combination, sort of pass for dinner.
I set the table.
I ate the leftovers that no one else was going to eat, for my dinner, and drank a very thick, and therefore very caffeinated, cup of coffee.
I loaded extra paper into my case, and kissed Sarah good-bye.
I made sure my car radio was on-and tuned to JEL 89.3 on the dial…which isn’t a dial.

Then, driving out of the garage, I realized that my light was on.

Not the lights. Oh, they were on. Since it gets dark early, that isn’t’ an option…well, unless you want to hit something or be hit by someone.
But the light on the dashboard telling me that one of my tires was low on air.
And I was about to drive downtown at night, on the route where the most car-jackings in the city take place. Into an area where I wouldn’t’ want to loiter, late at night, in the dark…and with a tire that might not get me there and home……

I did the smart thing, and re-parked my car in the garage. And turned off the lights, and went back into the house.
So, no naked people, tonight. But, I figured I could still listen to JEL , and Aaron’s take on the news…..who knows what other interesting places they might choose to put solar panels, or what other people might be nabbed for perpetrating unmentionable acts in odd places……..

I “liberated” Larry’s radio……and set it up on the kitchen counter. And tuned it to 89.3.…and waited.
And the time that Aaron should have spoken came and went…with no Aaron.
Then a few minutes later, the phone rings.
It is Aaron…no more news for tonight, they are closing the station early.
Why?
He doesn’t’ know, but the student DJ has decided this.
So, Aaron will be coming home, and I will have to wait a while for the next bit of interesting news.
In case you want to know, “closing” the station simply means not having live crew running it. Apparently, there is a pre-recorded track that then plays until the next “live bodies” come in, tomorrow morning.

Just after this, I check the computer.
Kara has emailed me, “I am listening, where is Aaron?”
Sorry Kara! Maybe we can get him to do a private news reading, just for the two of us, and we can learn about some other things that don’t quite make it into the our local newspaper…...