Dinner time is always….interesting.
I made fish sticks.
That was supposed to be last night’s dinner.
I had pulled out the side dish stuff, and then I grabbed Sarah and dragged her into the kitchen (okay, not literally, she is quite a bit bigger than me, and I couldn’t move her if I wanted to,) and said, “These go into the oven at 6:40, so they wont’ be cold and yucky when Daddy comes home for dinner.”
And Sarah said, “I don’t’ like those. I am not making them.”
Which is why they ate spaghetti, last night.
So, I made them, tonight. Which went more smoothly, since I am home to do the cooking- if you can call heating frozen food cooking.
And, I realized that Aaron wasn’t eating any.
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t’ like fish sticks.”
“I’m sorry!”
(This is the worst thing a Jewish mother can hear, so sorry is an understatement.)
“I keep telling you I don’t’ like fish sticks. I have never liked fish sticks.”
Okay, so I can’t keep my children straight. It must be Esther who likes fish sticks.
Larry, on my other side says, rather defensively, “I like fish sticks!”
Of course, he is eating them, but he eats everything I cook, and since these are frozen food, they are probably better than a lot of the other things that I cook, so he probably does like them better……
“I thought you didn’t like macaroni and cheese?” I ask Aaron.
“I don’t.”
“Okay, so you don’t’ like macaroni and cheese? What about pizza.”
“I like pizza, it is Esther who doesn’t like pizza.”
Of course, and she works at a pizza parlor.
How could I not have guessed.
This must be why we have spaghetti 3 nights a week. Wait, I hope they all like spaghetti…..
Then Aaron , probably feeling he has to share something other than his distaste for the fish sticks says, ”I got to my English class, and I sat down at my desk. My desk is right near the teacher’s desk. And I got out of my seat, and I said “I don’t’ like it when my seat is warm from the person sitting in it before me.”
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Story of teh Day 2/ 18/ 2009
The next few "stories" will be out of order.
I email stories for approval and corrections before I defame everyone I know.
Okay, I only email for approval and corrections to people I like.
I am probably trying to smear those other people, or at least, dont' care if I do.
What happens, though, is that sometimes the responses are a little slow.
Or I dont' get approval.
Or the person represented is horrified.
And those are the ones I didnt' mean to horrify! Can I help it is this is a talent of mine?
Anyhow, due to slow response times, there will be some out of order "tales."
Of course, that is counterbalanced when my friends tell me something, and i think it is "confidential" , and a week later they say, "Why didn't you put that in a story?"
So, here is the story from 2/18/2009- after a bit of a delay.
I am working on our taxes.
All year, Larry keeps the papers in envelopes in a plastic bin.
Then, at some point after Jan 31st, I ask him for the papers.
And I buy a computer program- Turbo Tax, and I sort out all the papers, and then I work on the computer.
And I call him.
I think I called him about 11 times, so far, today.
Obviously, after the first 7 calls, he stopped answering the phone.
I will be doing this.
Today, tonight, tomorrow.
Amazingly, we are stil married.
He hasn’t’ even left town, yet.
I email stories for approval and corrections before I defame everyone I know.
Okay, I only email for approval and corrections to people I like.
I am probably trying to smear those other people, or at least, dont' care if I do.
What happens, though, is that sometimes the responses are a little slow.
Or I dont' get approval.
Or the person represented is horrified.
And those are the ones I didnt' mean to horrify! Can I help it is this is a talent of mine?
Anyhow, due to slow response times, there will be some out of order "tales."
Of course, that is counterbalanced when my friends tell me something, and i think it is "confidential" , and a week later they say, "Why didn't you put that in a story?"
So, here is the story from 2/18/2009- after a bit of a delay.
I am working on our taxes.
All year, Larry keeps the papers in envelopes in a plastic bin.
Then, at some point after Jan 31st, I ask him for the papers.
And I buy a computer program- Turbo Tax, and I sort out all the papers, and then I work on the computer.
And I call him.
I think I called him about 11 times, so far, today.
Obviously, after the first 7 calls, he stopped answering the phone.
I will be doing this.
Today, tonight, tomorrow.
Amazingly, we are stil married.
He hasn’t’ even left town, yet.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Story of the Day 2/ 23/ 2009
Stacie told me that she used to want to have a daughter to take shopping.
Stacie has , instead, a wealth of boys. Five, to be exact. If you don’t’ count the cat.
But, now that her friends have daughters who are teenagers, she is Thanking G-d that she doesn’t.
She told me that Jennifer called her, the other day.
Jennifer has 3 daughters. And they are ALL teenagers.
She was calling from Kohl’s. They had been in Kohl’s for 2 hours. And they were buying ONE blouse.
I told Stacie that my problem with Sarah was a bit different.
A trip to the store with Sarah , to buy skirt, takes 5 minutes.
That is how long it takes to quickly walk down the aisles , not try on anything, not even touch anything, and say ,”Nothing here.”
Multiply that experience by a few stores.
We haven’t been able to buy her a skirt in 6 months of looking.
And shoes? If there is a show she thinks she might be interested in, but there are people on the aisle, we have to wait around the corner, and hope they leave, quickly.
If they stay, we leave.
Back to skirts.
Last week, I mentioned how impossible it had been to even find a skirt that Sarah would look at. The ones we were seeing were all short or polyester, or…..and Sarah is the long Indian cotton type.
And Stacie said, “They have those at Sam’s Club.”
“They do?”
Of course, it also can’t be yellow, or pink, or white, or……
But Stacie said she would look.
Sunday, I got a call from Stacie.
“They have fuchsia and white and brown.”
“Get a brown one!”
And Stacie delivered it last night.
I love her.
Larry loves her.
Maybe I should go over and clean her kitchen for her……
Stacie has emailed me:
ok, the kitchen would be good but the bathroom would be better!
Stacie has , instead, a wealth of boys. Five, to be exact. If you don’t’ count the cat.
But, now that her friends have daughters who are teenagers, she is Thanking G-d that she doesn’t.
She told me that Jennifer called her, the other day.
Jennifer has 3 daughters. And they are ALL teenagers.
She was calling from Kohl’s. They had been in Kohl’s for 2 hours. And they were buying ONE blouse.
I told Stacie that my problem with Sarah was a bit different.
A trip to the store with Sarah , to buy skirt, takes 5 minutes.
That is how long it takes to quickly walk down the aisles , not try on anything, not even touch anything, and say ,”Nothing here.”
Multiply that experience by a few stores.
We haven’t been able to buy her a skirt in 6 months of looking.
And shoes? If there is a show she thinks she might be interested in, but there are people on the aisle, we have to wait around the corner, and hope they leave, quickly.
If they stay, we leave.
Back to skirts.
Last week, I mentioned how impossible it had been to even find a skirt that Sarah would look at. The ones we were seeing were all short or polyester, or…..and Sarah is the long Indian cotton type.
And Stacie said, “They have those at Sam’s Club.”
“They do?”
Of course, it also can’t be yellow, or pink, or white, or……
But Stacie said she would look.
Sunday, I got a call from Stacie.
“They have fuchsia and white and brown.”
“Get a brown one!”
And Stacie delivered it last night.
I love her.
Larry loves her.
Maybe I should go over and clean her kitchen for her……
Stacie has emailed me:
ok, the kitchen would be good but the bathroom would be better!
Monday, February 16, 2009
Story of the Day 2/ 15/ 2009
My son just came home from his job at the movie theater.
He was working the concession stand.
Two guys we know from synagogue, brothers, came in to see a movie.
His co-worker, a young woman named Julie asked him, “Why are their kippahs much larger than yours?”
Aaron answered, “Because they have bigger bald spots.”
“Oh, I was thinking that might be why.”
He was working the concession stand.
Two guys we know from synagogue, brothers, came in to see a movie.
His co-worker, a young woman named Julie asked him, “Why are their kippahs much larger than yours?”
Aaron answered, “Because they have bigger bald spots.”
“Oh, I was thinking that might be why.”
Story of teh Day 2/ 15/ 2009- From Friday
My husband is our family’s newest member of Facebook.
At dinner, Friday evening, he was talking about some of the things he has discovered while playing with it in his limited free time.
And, very happily, he exclaimed, “And I have 22 friends, and I know most of them!”
Our son almost choked, and immediately responded, “No Dad, no! You never let anyone become your friend if you don’t’ know them, and you don’t ever give out personal information to people you don’t know!”
My husband was practically falling out of his chair, laughing.
“I was only joking!”
Poor Aaron, at least we know he takes those rules seriously!
At dinner, Friday evening, he was talking about some of the things he has discovered while playing with it in his limited free time.
And, very happily, he exclaimed, “And I have 22 friends, and I know most of them!”
Our son almost choked, and immediately responded, “No Dad, no! You never let anyone become your friend if you don’t’ know them, and you don’t ever give out personal information to people you don’t know!”
My husband was practically falling out of his chair, laughing.
“I was only joking!”
Poor Aaron, at least we know he takes those rules seriously!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Story of the Day 2/ 14/ 2009
An old story I related over lunch, today, at shul.
The topic of needing new clothes came up, because a friend admired my suit, and I mentioned that it was the 7th outfit I had tried on, trying to get dressed for shul, because the first 6 skirts wouldn’t zip. My very nice friend said, “So, buy some more clothes!“ A much nicer statement than ,“Well, lose the fat!“
Incidentally, if you get the second answer in that tone of voice, it lets you know it is time to get new friends.
Luckily, I didn’t.
The following is a story I have told before, so forgive me , if I am boring you:
I was in a college class.
This is a somewhat permanent vocation for me. As my father used to say, “:College was the best 11 years of my life.“
If you put mine down , chronologically, it would be longer than that.
Anyhow, there was another aged adult (30’s) and myself, and a bunch of 18-20 year old young women- some of whom regularly showed up a bit hung over from the weekend.
The other elderly student and I used to sit near one another. It was comforting to be in the presence of another person who had done the reading. And she was aware of the house fire that basically left us sans everything except our family, 6 months before.
Sitting right next to me, on the other side, was a young woman who was talking about needing to buy a lot of new clothes, because all of her s were “old”.
How old could they be? She had probably been the same size for a total of 4 years…
The woman next to her, remarked, “Nothing in my closet is more than a year old!” As if this were one of the great accomplishments of her life.
Okay, maybe it was.
I couldn’t’ resist.
I added, “Well, none of my clothes are more than 6 months old.”They were very impressed, and my friend was trying very hard not to choke from trying not to laugh.
The topic of needing new clothes came up, because a friend admired my suit, and I mentioned that it was the 7th outfit I had tried on, trying to get dressed for shul, because the first 6 skirts wouldn’t zip. My very nice friend said, “So, buy some more clothes!“ A much nicer statement than ,“Well, lose the fat!“
Incidentally, if you get the second answer in that tone of voice, it lets you know it is time to get new friends.
Luckily, I didn’t.
The following is a story I have told before, so forgive me , if I am boring you:
I was in a college class.
This is a somewhat permanent vocation for me. As my father used to say, “:College was the best 11 years of my life.“
If you put mine down , chronologically, it would be longer than that.
Anyhow, there was another aged adult (30’s) and myself, and a bunch of 18-20 year old young women- some of whom regularly showed up a bit hung over from the weekend.
The other elderly student and I used to sit near one another. It was comforting to be in the presence of another person who had done the reading. And she was aware of the house fire that basically left us sans everything except our family, 6 months before.
Sitting right next to me, on the other side, was a young woman who was talking about needing to buy a lot of new clothes, because all of her s were “old”.
How old could they be? She had probably been the same size for a total of 4 years…
The woman next to her, remarked, “Nothing in my closet is more than a year old!” As if this were one of the great accomplishments of her life.
Okay, maybe it was.
I couldn’t’ resist.
I added, “Well, none of my clothes are more than 6 months old.”They were very impressed, and my friend was trying very hard not to choke from trying not to laugh.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Story of teh Day 2/ 1/ 2009
Aaron is struggling in his radio and TV class.
And, no, this has nothing to do with his interviewing Sarah for the radio.
It has to do with one of his classmates.
Apparently, Aaron has been on the radio, during class time, the past couple of weeks.
On the radio with another young man who doesn’t appreciate him.
Okay, maybe “appreciate” isn’t the right word.
As Aaron has described it, Aaron has been trying very hard to bond with “S“, but “S” treats Aaron with contempt.
One of the results of this is that “S” is constantly turning Aaron’s microphone off , while they are on the air.
A kind of media-castration.
At any rate, Aaron, in a weird male bonding ritual moment, sent him into a fit of laughter that attracted the attention of a few people- including a young woman.
Aaron wasn’t able to explain what happened, at that time, so he later sent her a note.
This is the note:
I just thought I'd give you the inside scoop on the story from this morning, so you don't have any weird ideas about what was going on. “S” was talking about a senior prank that had something to do with porn. I was trying to make some connection with “S“, because, for whatever reason, I don't think he likes me. (He’s always cutting off my microphone in the Radio Station, and not high fiving me, etc.) So anyhow, I pride myself on my knowledge of movies, and I asked him if he had ever seen Debbie Does Dallas. I explained that Debbie Does Dallas is a classic porno from the 70s, which I've heard is very influential and has spawned a numerous amount of inferior pornos. I haven't seen it yet, but I was just suggesting it to “S“, because I thought it would be a good beginner's guide to the appreciation of porn.
Aaron is now regretting he didn’t’ mention Deep-throat, as well.
And, no, this has nothing to do with his interviewing Sarah for the radio.
It has to do with one of his classmates.
Apparently, Aaron has been on the radio, during class time, the past couple of weeks.
On the radio with another young man who doesn’t appreciate him.
Okay, maybe “appreciate” isn’t the right word.
As Aaron has described it, Aaron has been trying very hard to bond with “S“, but “S” treats Aaron with contempt.
One of the results of this is that “S” is constantly turning Aaron’s microphone off , while they are on the air.
A kind of media-castration.
At any rate, Aaron, in a weird male bonding ritual moment, sent him into a fit of laughter that attracted the attention of a few people- including a young woman.
Aaron wasn’t able to explain what happened, at that time, so he later sent her a note.
This is the note:
I just thought I'd give you the inside scoop on the story from this morning, so you don't have any weird ideas about what was going on. “S” was talking about a senior prank that had something to do with porn. I was trying to make some connection with “S“, because, for whatever reason, I don't think he likes me. (He’s always cutting off my microphone in the Radio Station, and not high fiving me, etc.) So anyhow, I pride myself on my knowledge of movies, and I asked him if he had ever seen Debbie Does Dallas. I explained that Debbie Does Dallas is a classic porno from the 70s, which I've heard is very influential and has spawned a numerous amount of inferior pornos. I haven't seen it yet, but I was just suggesting it to “S“, because I thought it would be a good beginner's guide to the appreciation of porn.
Aaron is now regretting he didn’t’ mention Deep-throat, as well.
Story of the Day 1/ 31/ 2009
MY son interviewed me. For the radio.
I was his second choice.
Actually, I wasn’t even in the running- I just became the fall -back position.
For his radio and TV class, they had to do an interview- for the radio. That is just in case I didn’t’ ,make myself clear.
So, Aaron being Aaron (and he finds it rather hard to be anyone else) decided to interview Sarah.
I asked him, “are you going to ask her to use her voice?”
"No.”
Not that anyone on the radio would understand what she was saying, but , at home, away from all those judgemental Hearing people, she does use her voice quite a bit.
“Do you want me to interpret what she is saying?”
“No.”
He did , however, want me to interpret what he was saying.
So, , the interview went something like:“Hello, this is Aaron Margolis-Greenbaum. I am here today with a Deaf teenager. Would you like to introduce yourself?”
“Tell me, at what age did you become Deaf?”
“Where do you go to school?”
“Do you like music.”
I think you get the idea.
Of course, I am Aaron’s mother. So, I had to throw a wrench into the works.
“Aaron, don’t’ you think you should have some sort of a back up, in case your teacher doesn’t’ see the humor in this and gives you an F?”
Since it was now Sunday night, and all the other options weren’t available, I became the, “in case his teacher doesn’t have a sense of humor interviewee……..
I am waiting to hear about the rest of this story…..
I was his second choice.
Actually, I wasn’t even in the running- I just became the fall -back position.
For his radio and TV class, they had to do an interview- for the radio. That is just in case I didn’t’ ,make myself clear.
So, Aaron being Aaron (and he finds it rather hard to be anyone else) decided to interview Sarah.
I asked him, “are you going to ask her to use her voice?”
"No.”
Not that anyone on the radio would understand what she was saying, but , at home, away from all those judgemental Hearing people, she does use her voice quite a bit.
“Do you want me to interpret what she is saying?”
“No.”
He did , however, want me to interpret what he was saying.
So, , the interview went something like:“Hello, this is Aaron Margolis-Greenbaum. I am here today with a Deaf teenager. Would you like to introduce yourself?”
“Tell me, at what age did you become Deaf?”
“Where do you go to school?”
“Do you like music.”
I think you get the idea.
Of course, I am Aaron’s mother. So, I had to throw a wrench into the works.
“Aaron, don’t’ you think you should have some sort of a back up, in case your teacher doesn’t’ see the humor in this and gives you an F?”
Since it was now Sunday night, and all the other options weren’t available, I became the, “in case his teacher doesn’t have a sense of humor interviewee……..
I am waiting to hear about the rest of this story…..
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