Sunday, April 24, 2011

Story of the Day 4/23/2011

My brother, Frank, has just graduated with an M.B.A. from the University of Chicago. We are all very proud of him. He has even managed to secure a job, which is no easy feat, in this economy.


We were sitting at the dining room table and Sarah asks in a very concerned way, “What is wrong with him?”


She has just found out that he will be working for Wal-Mart

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Story of the Day 4/22/ 2011

Today, Sarah went to the Library.
She entered the Library and offered the Librarian her pass.
This is the same truly brilliant librarian from yesterday’s Story of the Day.
Today, she was already aware that Sarah is deaf. So she smiled, only it wasn’t really a smile, it was more like a huge somewhat scared grimace. And made no attempt at all to communicate. In fact, she looked rather scared that the deaf kid might try to bite her.

And this was one of the more intelligent moments of Sarah’s day.

Sarah has recently had CART added to two of her classes. CART is a service where a typist comes in and listens to what is said in the classroom, - the lecture, the student’s comments, the PA announcements- and types it onto a keyboard and the text is displayed on a screen for Sarah to read.
This service is being provided as part of an assessment to determine if it would be beneficial to Sarah.
This assessment was finished on April 18th. Except, the school never even bothered to start it, but that is another story.

Anyhow, CART is being provided in two classes, English and Biology, during this assessment period.

CART is very useful for deaf students, especially when the interpreter services are deficient. Sarah has noticed that at times the interpreter is only interpreting 1 out of every 3 sentences, and missing whole areas of information, but the real benefit has been finding out a lot more about what the classroom environment is like. She has come home very disturbed by how rude the students are to the teacher, and by the very immature language that they use. She has also been disturbed to find out that most of her classes appear to be populated by people who are probably not capable of brushing their own teeth, in the morning.

In Biology class, which is her last class of the day, one student remarked on coming into the classroom and observing the set-up, “What is this for?”
The CART typist told him, “It’s none of your business.”

A somewhat brighter student replied, “So she can see.”

The first student, apparently getting the logic of this, responded by saying “Oh, I get it!”

We don’t.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Story of the Day 4/21/2011

The interpreter disappeared.
He was there when she was in Hebrew class, but was missing by the time she arrived at the Library.
Sarah only realized it when she gave the Librarian her pass and the librarian spoke to her and he wasn’t there to interpret.

Sarah put her finger near her ear and shook her head and mimicked writing on a notepad.
And the Librarian talked to her some more.
Again, Sarah pointed to her ear and shook her head no and mimicked writing on a pad.
And, again, the Librarian spoke to her.
And again, Sarah pointed to her ear, and shook her head and gave a look of “I don’t understand you” and gestured about writing to the woman, but the Librarian kept on talking.

Fortunately, there was a name brand student in the Library.
He is name brand because he has some kind of fancy, colorful, expensive, special ed label like “intellectually challenged” or something, but, in fact, he was truly much more intelligent than the Librarian, because he came over to Sarah and signed “How are you?”. And Sarah gave him a big thumbs up and a smile and asked him how he was. Which he responded to by signing “Good.”
And, fortunately the Librarian was finally able to figure out, with the help of this other student, That Sarah was deaf.

Oh, sorry, that isn’t true.
The Librarian was still unable to figure it out.

So Sarah opened up her backpack and wrote the standard, “I am deaf. I can’t hear anything you said. So can you please write down what you want to tell me?” To which the Librarian wrote, “Do you want to use the computer?”

Which Sarah didn’t.

And about 5 minutes later the interpreter showed up, but too late to help the incredibly dense Librarian.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Story of the Day 4/14/2011

Sarah was doing homework. Or maybe it was a review sheet for a test. They all look the same to me, especially now that I need reading glasses – which I wasn’t wearing.
She asked me why the teacher had put a question on the paper. I looked at it, probably harder than usual, since I still wasn’t wearing my reading glasses.

The question read:
Why do we study viruses?

Sarah said, “ Well, she knows we study them because the state educational requirements say so.”

It took me a moment to understand that Sarah had read the question literally. A very brief moment.

“No, Sarah, “we” means scientists, not “we” and I pointed at her.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Story of the Day 4/ 11/ 2011

I was sure my husband had misheard.

On Saturday, he told me that Aaron wants to attend a yeshivah program in Israel.
Aaron?
But, Aaron confirmed this, to me, several hours later.

I was still trying to wrap my mind around this sudden change of…son, when, last night, Aaron asked me if they have stand up in Israel.
“I am sure they do. In Hebrew.”
”Oh. Well, I suppose I could learn a lot of knock knock jokes.


”Aaron, there are a lot of Americans and ex-Americans there. I am sure there is a bar that has stand up in English.”
”Oh good.”
”But I don’t’ think the yeshivah will allow you to do that. It is in a bar.”
”But yeshivahs promote drinking., I mean think about Purim and Simhat Torah and even Passover with the 4 cups of wine!”
“But to drinking in a mixed gender bar where men are hitting on women and women are flirting and dressing immodestly!”

I am waiting for him to respond, “But I could do it at a gay bar!”

In the meanwhile, he is rethinking the yeshivah program.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Story of the Day 4/ 8/ 2011

My son is upset with me.
I made plans for him for this Sunday.

I saw an article in the Jewish Federation newsletter. The butler University Hillel has several social outreach programs and they welcome community volunteers.
And Aaron is looking for a college, and I am looking for a daughter-in-law, and I did notice that there seemed to be a lot of nice smiling young ladies in the group picture.
Well, it wouldn’t hurt!
So, I emailed the group’s president. I wouldn’t’ have done that except that there were no activities posted on their website’s calendar.
And she emailed me back about a bagel brunch this Sunday, with a speaker.
And it doesn’t start until noon, which with my son the unemployed college dropout means that it fits perfectly into a hole in his schedule.

I presented it to Aaron as a “ so you could see if they have a nice Jewish group on campus and maybe , if you feel comfortable go for a campus tour, later!” When my son ( correctly) heard, “ You could go meet a nice Jewish girl!?”


Of course, he argued, “It wont’ be kosher.”
“So drink some orange juice!”

He is still angry with me.

However his younger sister Sarah ( who only heard the words I actually said , about looking at the college ( of course, I signed them, since she cant’ actually hear anything) got all excited and told Aaron that she wants to go with him.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Story of the Day 4/ 7/2011

Sarah’s geography teacher had something very important to say.
This was more important than some of the other things he has lectured about, this year, and he delivered it with appropriate solemnity and admonition.
Cell phones are anti-Christian.

This did not worry Sarah, though. She is Deaf and Jewish.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Story of the Day 3/29/2011

And this story only peripherally has any of my children in it…..

I was drawing, this evening, at Herron.
Tuesday and Thursday evenings is the alumni drawing group, so I have to go and pretend I am an alumna.
Okay, not really, because about half the people are not. As long as you put in your $5, they don’t’ care if your degree is from a cooking school or from someplace in the Bahamas that was also mostly concerned with what you paid.
Actually, it would be nice of there were some cooking school graduates, or better yet, students to bring in stuff for us to try…..


At any rate, one woman asked me if I had lost weight.
I said, "No, I wish!"
And she said, "Well, you look thinner."
I replied, “ It is probably just that these clothes are baggier than what I was wearing the last time you saw me. And I can't blame my son, whose hand-me-downs are often the source of my attire. These pants were $8, and comfortable, so I didn’t' care that they only size they had left was two sizes too large."
She then asked me if I care what I look like/wear.
Perhaps I should have been insulted that she thought I looked so bad. On the other hand, maybe I should have been thrilled that she hadn’t asked me that sooner.
I said, " When I get dressed up, yeah, otherwise, I figure clothes have two purposes- keeping me warm and keeping me from getting arrested."

I am not sure why she thought this was funny.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Story of the Day 3/20/2011

Today was Purim. We went to the Lubavitch dinner and party and sat with some of our Deaf friends and chatted. And chatted. And chatted.

One girl and her mother spoke with Sarah at length about the interpreter problems Sarah’s had at her school, verses the very minor problems the other girl has had at her school with interpreters.

One day, an interpreter was using his cell phone to text. She asked him to put it away. He told her it was important. She asked him- if it was more important than her access to her education.
She told him that if he texted again, she would report him.
In a later class, he was texting. She reported it and the school will not have him back again.

This is totally different than how things work at Sarah’s school. The interpreters can spend entire days texting, reading books, using 4 letter words, and Sarah can complain and the school blows her off.

Furthermore, this girl’s school has a list of really good interpreters that they use, She has one long-term terp, but if that terp is out for an illness or an appointment, they use a name from the list of good interpreters. This is the list from which we got some names to give to Sarah’s school. Although, Sarah’s school hasn’t contacted them.

This coming week will be a rare week. All of the interpreters scheduled are good! All of them. Last week, she had three bad days. And the only reason that all of the interpreters scheduled, this week, are good is because we contacted them to fill in the schedule.

As the meal and conversation progressed, I started thinking.
I turned to Sarah and I said, “If things aren’t resolved at North Central by the end of this school year, we could rent an apartment in Carmel (the other girl’s school district) and you could go to school there!”
Sarah looked at me with disbelief.
“Well, it would give us another option.”
“No way, I can’t go to Carmel HS, all of the kids in that school are white!”

Story of the Day 3/ 19/ 2011

It was a long day, and that was all before 11 A.M.
I say that because by that time I had already run into my third story of the day, while sitting down in synagogue.
Services start at 8:30. Not that I would ever get there by 8:30. I aim for 9:30, but , today, it was probably closer to 10 , by the time I arrived and had slid into my seat.

Sarah stood up.
Well, she didn’t stand up, she just hadn’t sat down. This is because she was signing over the mehitzah to her brother. A mehitza is a divider in traditional synagogues between the section where the men sit and the section where the women sit.
Ours is about shoulder height and not taken very seriously. People stand on either side and chat- or kiss cheeks, or just got to the back and walk through to the other section, but if you are sitting down, it does block your view.
So, Sarah was standing and signing to her brother. We had arrived just in time for the Torah reading and, since they both find it rather dull to sit and “listen” while the Torah is read aloud, they usually disappear to another room where they sit and chat.
But, Aaron told her, he was going to stay in the room today, because Larry told him that it was a very special reading, this week, and it was important to hear it.
Sarah listened to her brother signing this to her, and responded, “but you are deaf?”
“It is the thought that counts.”


Sarah resigned herself to sitting with me.
I thought she had fallen asleep, and maybe she had, but about 15 minutes later, she asked me, “Do you like music?”
Now, I wasn’t quite sure what she meant.
You see, in ASL, the word for music is the same as the word for singing. I don’t play any instruments, so it was narrowed down to listening or singing.
I asked, “Do you mean listening to music like on the radio?”
She said no, she meant signing.
“Yes, I like to sing, but no one likes to be around me when I am singing.”
Sarah gave me a big smile, and told me “You can sing for me!”
Hey, it is the best offer I am ever going to have!


Now, at some point in the service, Bill Levy stands at the front – which, in our synagogue is the middle, and makes announcements.
There were two, one for the sisterhood meeting, next week Sunday, and one for NCAA night.
However, a voice from the crowd asked about services, tonight.
Tonight is the start of the holiday of Purim.
Bill explained that they were at 9.
This caused some confusion, and the guy who acts as the rabbi, went up and explained about how we have to make sure Shabbat is over and what time we can do that and what time we can start the evening service.
And a voice from the crowd told him that the synagogue across the street does it at a different time.
This voice came from a guy who regularly attends that “place across the street” which is how we usually refer to it.

He comes to us, as do several of the members of that synagogue, on a week when they have an annoy- although they don’t call I that. An annyo is an anniversary of a loved one’s death.
The other synagogue is bigger, and more formal, and the same select people get the honors, every week.
At our smaller, very informal and definitely low-rent place (despite the gorgeous building that most of us still consider a miracle almost on a par with the parting of the red sea) , an honor or an aliyah or anything else can be had for the asking by anyone who shows up, regardless of their “status”, their garb or their monetary donations or lack thereof.

Basically, we do require them to be breathing.

Anyhow, this guy didn’t get the fact that he was not in his regular synagogue, and he again said,”“ They said that Shabbat ends at a different time.”
Our semi-rabbi again said what time we end it at.

And this man argued about what time the rabbi on the other side of the street said it was.

A slight pause and then “ Well that time is for the white people. This is the Sephardic synagogue.”

The rest of us managed to not laugh. Aloud, that is.