We had company for Shabbat.
This is unusual.
As a general rule, we don’t’ like company. Company means picking up, cleaning and acting polite ,a whole mess of things at which we do not excel. Fortunately, this company didn’t require any of those extreme changes.
The two teenage boys wouldn’t have noticed if I had fed them on dirty dishes, not provided sheets for the bed and had used a string of expletives in the midst of numerous sentences. Oh yes, I did do that, didn’t I- I mean the expletives part. They didn't really eat anything here, so the dishes weren't an issue.
And the rest of the company , pity them, seemed to also think we were somewhat normal.
Except that Sarah had a moment of great embarrassment.
And it wasn’t caused by my expletives. Nor by the fact that, when asked what had moved me to marry Larry and I answered, “Sex”- which only garnered the comment that it was obvious I was used to having kids that couldn’t’ hear me……and, truthfully, since Sarah couldn’t’ hear me, that wasn’t the source of her embarrassment.
It was her list.
At the start of every summer vacation, I have my children - each of them - make a list for the things they want to do during the summer.
I do this for self-defense.
There is nothing worse than having your child come home from the first day of the school year crying because you never too them to play mini-golf- when, in fact, they never told you that was the ONE THING THEY WANTED TO DO on their summer vacation. It si still all mom’s fault.
So, I have them make a lists. The lists usually include a whole mess of easy to do things- easy, as long as you know it was what they wanted to do: go to a movie, fly a kite at the park, visit the Central Library, go to the book store, go bowling, visit the Egyptian exhibit at the Children’s Museum.
But one of our visitors, when he picked up Sarah’s list- which was on the refrigerator- as all important lists are- raised his eyebrows over one of the items…..which is the cause of Sarah’s mortification.
Sarah wrote under item #19 (practice ( writing) English)
“Watch Aaron’s Penis Movie!”
Which is a little hard to do, since he hasn’t started the filming of it, yet.
Anyhow, it isn’t really Aaron’s penis.
Although, it is his movie.
And I wasn’t really sure what I should say to our friends, who were no longer visiting by the time Sarah got around to telling me of her profound mortification……..except, maybe, I should invite them to see it…..
Monday, June 29, 2009
Story of the Day 6/ 26/ 2009
We had company for Shabbat. Not dinner company. No one would ask to come for that. But the sleep over variety.
That is what happens when you have a family of 7 in a 3 bedroom home and their out of town family comes and needs all of the beds and sleeper sofas- you get the overflow.
Since we literally have an empty bedroom- I mean empty of bodies, it has two twin beds, we are good neighbors to have, at times like these. SO we got the overflow of teenage boys. Two , or three. I told their mom that if she needed to send over a third, we could also find a place for him to sleep.
Of course, they were to arrive after dinner. This was smart, but it was also because they wanted to have dinner and visit with their out of town relatives who had kicked them out of their beds. And visit and visit.
And when it was 11:00, my family was all turning into pumpkins, and went off to bed, leaving me awake to answer the door.
This was okay, because I had a good book.
It was also okay because I am the only one who would have woken up to the knocking on the door- yes, the kids are deaf- so they have the perfect excuse to not hear and answer the door, and Larry has better hearing than I do, but over the years we have been married, I have learned that the reason he has a pager is so when a patient or the hospital or whatever needs to get a hold of him in the middle of the night, I will hear it and kick him till he wakes up. If it is winter, I can also use the pull the blankets off method.
Anyhow, I also have another talent, as well as being the only one who is talented enough to wake up for a knock on the door, I cannot fall back to sleep after I have been awoken.
I used to be able to, but after the couple of years of insomnia I had following the loss of our first child, it is a skill I lost.
So, I was sitting up and waiting for a knock on the door.
And then, at about midnight…..except, the person outside of the door seemed…well, awfully tall. I hesitated a moment, then opened it to our friend’s 18 year old son-not one of the boys we were expecting , but the son of a different friend - and this one is a couple of inches taller than our son- who is 6’ 1”.
“Hi, Daniel!”
“Oh, hi, ummm, are Jordan and Ethan here?”
“No, they haven’t come yet.”
“Well, I can visit with Aaron.”
“Except he has been asleep for an hour. But why don’t’ you come in.”
Hesitation.
Okay, I am not anyone’s idea of sparking conversation and company- well, maybe a cadavers.
“Do you want to go over and get them.”
This idea met with approval.
About 10 minutes later- not quite enough time for Daniel to have made it to their house and back, there was another knock on the door.
It is Daniel and Ethan.
“You ran into him on the way over there?”
“Yeah.”
The two very sweaty boys came in and collapsed onto the sofas.
Well, it was still, at midnight, about 90 degrees out. And humid.
They explained that Jordan has gone to walk his girlfriend over to where she is staying- several blocks away.
I said that it was good he did that. It is very dark out and , for a girl, scary to go walking around our rather unlit neighborhood, at this time of night.
Daniel told me, very seriously, “Yeah, I get scared walking around here. I was scared just walking over here.”
It is very dark, and there are no sidewalks and almost no street lights, but this is still quite an admission from a hulking 18 year old. Okay, maybe he has to gain about 25 lbs before he can be considered hulking, but still, who, in the dark, walking, would make you nervous if you spotted him.
“I was walking here, and it was dark, and there was this car approaching, and then it slowed down and then it stopped, and I was nervous and I looked over……
“ and then I said, ‘Hi Grandma!’”
Daniel’s grandmother also lives in the neighborhood.
That is what happens when you have a family of 7 in a 3 bedroom home and their out of town family comes and needs all of the beds and sleeper sofas- you get the overflow.
Since we literally have an empty bedroom- I mean empty of bodies, it has two twin beds, we are good neighbors to have, at times like these. SO we got the overflow of teenage boys. Two , or three. I told their mom that if she needed to send over a third, we could also find a place for him to sleep.
Of course, they were to arrive after dinner. This was smart, but it was also because they wanted to have dinner and visit with their out of town relatives who had kicked them out of their beds. And visit and visit.
And when it was 11:00, my family was all turning into pumpkins, and went off to bed, leaving me awake to answer the door.
This was okay, because I had a good book.
It was also okay because I am the only one who would have woken up to the knocking on the door- yes, the kids are deaf- so they have the perfect excuse to not hear and answer the door, and Larry has better hearing than I do, but over the years we have been married, I have learned that the reason he has a pager is so when a patient or the hospital or whatever needs to get a hold of him in the middle of the night, I will hear it and kick him till he wakes up. If it is winter, I can also use the pull the blankets off method.
Anyhow, I also have another talent, as well as being the only one who is talented enough to wake up for a knock on the door, I cannot fall back to sleep after I have been awoken.
I used to be able to, but after the couple of years of insomnia I had following the loss of our first child, it is a skill I lost.
So, I was sitting up and waiting for a knock on the door.
And then, at about midnight…..except, the person outside of the door seemed…well, awfully tall. I hesitated a moment, then opened it to our friend’s 18 year old son-not one of the boys we were expecting , but the son of a different friend - and this one is a couple of inches taller than our son- who is 6’ 1”.
“Hi, Daniel!”
“Oh, hi, ummm, are Jordan and Ethan here?”
“No, they haven’t come yet.”
“Well, I can visit with Aaron.”
“Except he has been asleep for an hour. But why don’t’ you come in.”
Hesitation.
Okay, I am not anyone’s idea of sparking conversation and company- well, maybe a cadavers.
“Do you want to go over and get them.”
This idea met with approval.
About 10 minutes later- not quite enough time for Daniel to have made it to their house and back, there was another knock on the door.
It is Daniel and Ethan.
“You ran into him on the way over there?”
“Yeah.”
The two very sweaty boys came in and collapsed onto the sofas.
Well, it was still, at midnight, about 90 degrees out. And humid.
They explained that Jordan has gone to walk his girlfriend over to where she is staying- several blocks away.
I said that it was good he did that. It is very dark out and , for a girl, scary to go walking around our rather unlit neighborhood, at this time of night.
Daniel told me, very seriously, “Yeah, I get scared walking around here. I was scared just walking over here.”
It is very dark, and there are no sidewalks and almost no street lights, but this is still quite an admission from a hulking 18 year old. Okay, maybe he has to gain about 25 lbs before he can be considered hulking, but still, who, in the dark, walking, would make you nervous if you spotted him.
“I was walking here, and it was dark, and there was this car approaching, and then it slowed down and then it stopped, and I was nervous and I looked over……
“ and then I said, ‘Hi Grandma!’”
Daniel’s grandmother also lives in the neighborhood.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Story of teh Day 6/ 15/ 2009
I had a moment of inspiration.
My children, Aaron and Sarah, had announced they were leaving for the gym in 25 minutes; and I had gone into the laundry room to start folding laundry.
That is when the inspiration hit.
I took a couple of armloads of the clean stuff and dumped it onto the two arm chairs in the dining room.
“Laundry time! You have to help me fold for 10 minutes.”
This was met with stunned disbelief by those same two teenagers who were planning on sweating their asses off at the gym. Can I help it is they think of laundry as being hard.
Hard?
That was the look I gave them.
They gave in.
Reluctantly.
A few minutes later, my husband, cowed by this situation, joined us.
I watched the wonderful speed at which those stacks of folded clothes and towels were growing, and I exclaimed:
“ Isn’t it great that you are all helping me with the laundry?”
Oddly, no one responded in agreement.
Well, they are deaf; they must not have heard- even though I signed it.
My children, Aaron and Sarah, had announced they were leaving for the gym in 25 minutes; and I had gone into the laundry room to start folding laundry.
That is when the inspiration hit.
I took a couple of armloads of the clean stuff and dumped it onto the two arm chairs in the dining room.
“Laundry time! You have to help me fold for 10 minutes.”
This was met with stunned disbelief by those same two teenagers who were planning on sweating their asses off at the gym. Can I help it is they think of laundry as being hard.
Hard?
That was the look I gave them.
They gave in.
Reluctantly.
A few minutes later, my husband, cowed by this situation, joined us.
I watched the wonderful speed at which those stacks of folded clothes and towels were growing, and I exclaimed:
“ Isn’t it great that you are all helping me with the laundry?”
Oddly, no one responded in agreement.
Well, they are deaf; they must not have heard- even though I signed it.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Story of the Day 6/ 11/ 2009
I learn a lot of things from my kids.
Some of them are even things I can repeat in public.
At lunch, today, Aaron and Cindie were discussing TV series. Specifically, the different Star Trek series that have been playing on TV for …decades.
Aaron said, “ I can’t believe they changed the theme music in ‘The Enterprise’ they replaced it with the Patch Adams music.”
Cindie thought for a moment and said, “Gee, you’re right.”
I have no idea what the Patch Adams’ music is. I know that Esther has a Patch Adams tee shirts that she bought at Goodwill and that Patch Adams was a movie, but I haven’t seen it-
Still, I was startled to hear that someone would monkey with the Star Trek theme music.
And then I realized the source of this information.
“Aaron, how do you know that?”
Forgive me, but I couldn’t’ believe my deaf son had figured this out by himself. Not unless there was some Twilight Zone music playing in the background a little too quietly for my hearing aid to pick up.
“My manager at the movie theater told me.”
I didn’t ask the next obvious question. “Why do you care , if you can’t hear it?” I was afraid of the answer.
Some of them are even things I can repeat in public.
At lunch, today, Aaron and Cindie were discussing TV series. Specifically, the different Star Trek series that have been playing on TV for …decades.
Aaron said, “ I can’t believe they changed the theme music in ‘The Enterprise’ they replaced it with the Patch Adams music.”
Cindie thought for a moment and said, “Gee, you’re right.”
I have no idea what the Patch Adams’ music is. I know that Esther has a Patch Adams tee shirts that she bought at Goodwill and that Patch Adams was a movie, but I haven’t seen it-
Still, I was startled to hear that someone would monkey with the Star Trek theme music.
And then I realized the source of this information.
“Aaron, how do you know that?”
Forgive me, but I couldn’t’ believe my deaf son had figured this out by himself. Not unless there was some Twilight Zone music playing in the background a little too quietly for my hearing aid to pick up.
“My manager at the movie theater told me.”
I didn’t ask the next obvious question. “Why do you care , if you can’t hear it?” I was afraid of the answer.
Story of teh Day 6/ 6/ 2009
Story of the Day 6/6/2009
Stories come in many forms. Versions, retellings.
When my high school fried, Mike , was here, my children got to hear about an episode I have recounted to them, retold from his point of view.
On Shabbat, over Kiddush lunch, I got to hear another version, point of view of a story I had heard from Aaron.
Aaron was in San Francisco. This was 2 years ago, when he was attending film program at the Academy of Art.
While there, he went to a parade the school had a float in. It was the gay pride parade.
Everyone was very friendly and he had a good time. Also, a lot of people stopped and hugged him.
Only , later, did I think to ask him what he had been wearing.
Some people think faster than others.
Okay, faster than I do, is what I really mean.
Aaron called Ethan, right after the parade, to tell him about it.
After describing everyone’s friendliness to him, Ethan immediately asked, “Were u wearing your astronaut T-shirt?”
That is the one with a row of astronauts in moon suits holding boom boxes on their shoulders. And each astronaut is in a different rainbow hue.
I also learned some new information.
I mean, in addition to the fact that it doesn’t take everyone two days to ask the question of what tee shirt he was wearing.
Aaron told Ethan they were handing out lots of free condoms- and he had gotten bunch.
Ethan asked if he had gotten life time supply.
I don’t’ remember Aarons;’ response, but now I know that he can get more from the Health Center, if he has run out…..
Stories come in many forms. Versions, retellings.
When my high school fried, Mike , was here, my children got to hear about an episode I have recounted to them, retold from his point of view.
On Shabbat, over Kiddush lunch, I got to hear another version, point of view of a story I had heard from Aaron.
Aaron was in San Francisco. This was 2 years ago, when he was attending film program at the Academy of Art.
While there, he went to a parade the school had a float in. It was the gay pride parade.
Everyone was very friendly and he had a good time. Also, a lot of people stopped and hugged him.
Only , later, did I think to ask him what he had been wearing.
Some people think faster than others.
Okay, faster than I do, is what I really mean.
Aaron called Ethan, right after the parade, to tell him about it.
After describing everyone’s friendliness to him, Ethan immediately asked, “Were u wearing your astronaut T-shirt?”
That is the one with a row of astronauts in moon suits holding boom boxes on their shoulders. And each astronaut is in a different rainbow hue.
I also learned some new information.
I mean, in addition to the fact that it doesn’t take everyone two days to ask the question of what tee shirt he was wearing.
Aaron told Ethan they were handing out lots of free condoms- and he had gotten bunch.
Ethan asked if he had gotten life time supply.
I don’t’ remember Aarons;’ response, but now I know that he can get more from the Health Center, if he has run out…..
Story of teh Day 6/ 2/ 2009
Orientation.
Aaron’s Freshman Orientation program at Ball State was yesterday and today.
When he registered on-line, I was surprised that they requested a parent attend the parent section.
Not only did Esther’s school not do this, I don’t think they even had a parent orientation.
And the first time I saw her college was when her freshman year was over, and I was picking her up to drive her home.
Wait a minute. Esther did all of her registration stuff by herself. Maybe there was a parent orientation, and maybe we were even supposed to attend….but I doubt anything positive would come of asking her about it, now, since she is a senior.
Anyhow, Aaron was dumb enough to tell me to help him register on-line, so I signed up to attend the parent’s part.
I thought it went pretty well.
They had terrible coffee, and some of it was boring, but I did learn a few things, like the hours the Health Center is open, and that we can pre-load a swipe card so he doesn’t’ need quarters for the laundry machines. Oh yeah, and how to fill out financial aid forms. A lot of the time was that. Which we had already done. But this college is smart, they had staff to help us clueless middle-aged parents through the on-line stuff.
They also had staff ready to help parents get the students to give permission to have the bills sent to the parents.
Apparently, with the new confidentiality regulations, the University can no longer send bills to the parents. UNLESS the student signs a waiver.
Okay, this was probably the real reason they had apparent orientation- and part of it was a shared session for parents and incoming freshmen- they were getting all of the waivers in order to make sure the bills were really going to get to the parents and get paid.
It was worth it to them to fill us up with that lousy coffee.
Apparently, they are also no longer allowed to mail us the transcripts. You know, the thing with the grades our students earned for the previous semester. However, they did impart this bit of advice: refuse to pay any bills until they produce it.
Part of the time, the kids and parents were together- part being relatively small- except for that one long session to get those billing waivers…..Most of the time we had different sessions to attend.
In one of the parent sessions, they showed a video of 6 college students discussing transition issues. One kid complained that the first time he went home,. He found he no longer had a bedroom. His mom had turned it into a storage room. Another kids said his mom had decorated his bedroom as a guest bedroom, so when eh came home for fall break, he had to sleep with all of these fluffy ruffled pillows and this hideous ruffled comforter. He also didn’t’ like the leaf and flower motif of the new artwork on the walls.
None of the kids commented that their parents had gone in and done a massive cleaning to get rid of years of dust bunnies….which is my plan.
When it was time to leave, my son, who had been complaining that I had managed to locate all of the Jewish girls at the orientation ( this isn’t true, I simply managed to locate all of their parents), thanked me for not embarrassing him.
Since I am ALWAYS ( according to him) an embarrassment, this caused me to raise my eyebrows a bit.
So he offered this :
One mother wouldn’t’ separate from her son for the separate sessions. He’d had a very audible I know this because Aaron heard it) argument with her to please go to her session. She kept insisting she could sneak in and go to his session with him and no one would know.
Except her son, who was mortified.
Aaron thanked me again, after describing this.
Driving home, Aaron let me know that I do not need to buy him a box of condoms. Apparently, during one of the kids’ sessions, they explained that free condoms were available at the Health Center.
After a moment to compose myself, I said, “But Aaron, the Health Center is only open from 9-4 on Mon-Friday. And you might need one at another time and not have preplanned. So I will get you a box, just in case.”
See, I did learn something useful at the Parent’s Orientation. I even impressed my son with it.
Aaron’s Freshman Orientation program at Ball State was yesterday and today.
When he registered on-line, I was surprised that they requested a parent attend the parent section.
Not only did Esther’s school not do this, I don’t think they even had a parent orientation.
And the first time I saw her college was when her freshman year was over, and I was picking her up to drive her home.
Wait a minute. Esther did all of her registration stuff by herself. Maybe there was a parent orientation, and maybe we were even supposed to attend….but I doubt anything positive would come of asking her about it, now, since she is a senior.
Anyhow, Aaron was dumb enough to tell me to help him register on-line, so I signed up to attend the parent’s part.
I thought it went pretty well.
They had terrible coffee, and some of it was boring, but I did learn a few things, like the hours the Health Center is open, and that we can pre-load a swipe card so he doesn’t’ need quarters for the laundry machines. Oh yeah, and how to fill out financial aid forms. A lot of the time was that. Which we had already done. But this college is smart, they had staff to help us clueless middle-aged parents through the on-line stuff.
They also had staff ready to help parents get the students to give permission to have the bills sent to the parents.
Apparently, with the new confidentiality regulations, the University can no longer send bills to the parents. UNLESS the student signs a waiver.
Okay, this was probably the real reason they had apparent orientation- and part of it was a shared session for parents and incoming freshmen- they were getting all of the waivers in order to make sure the bills were really going to get to the parents and get paid.
It was worth it to them to fill us up with that lousy coffee.
Apparently, they are also no longer allowed to mail us the transcripts. You know, the thing with the grades our students earned for the previous semester. However, they did impart this bit of advice: refuse to pay any bills until they produce it.
Part of the time, the kids and parents were together- part being relatively small- except for that one long session to get those billing waivers…..Most of the time we had different sessions to attend.
In one of the parent sessions, they showed a video of 6 college students discussing transition issues. One kid complained that the first time he went home,. He found he no longer had a bedroom. His mom had turned it into a storage room. Another kids said his mom had decorated his bedroom as a guest bedroom, so when eh came home for fall break, he had to sleep with all of these fluffy ruffled pillows and this hideous ruffled comforter. He also didn’t’ like the leaf and flower motif of the new artwork on the walls.
None of the kids commented that their parents had gone in and done a massive cleaning to get rid of years of dust bunnies….which is my plan.
When it was time to leave, my son, who had been complaining that I had managed to locate all of the Jewish girls at the orientation ( this isn’t true, I simply managed to locate all of their parents), thanked me for not embarrassing him.
Since I am ALWAYS ( according to him) an embarrassment, this caused me to raise my eyebrows a bit.
So he offered this :
One mother wouldn’t’ separate from her son for the separate sessions. He’d had a very audible I know this because Aaron heard it) argument with her to please go to her session. She kept insisting she could sneak in and go to his session with him and no one would know.
Except her son, who was mortified.
Aaron thanked me again, after describing this.
Driving home, Aaron let me know that I do not need to buy him a box of condoms. Apparently, during one of the kids’ sessions, they explained that free condoms were available at the Health Center.
After a moment to compose myself, I said, “But Aaron, the Health Center is only open from 9-4 on Mon-Friday. And you might need one at another time and not have preplanned. So I will get you a box, just in case.”
See, I did learn something useful at the Parent’s Orientation. I even impressed my son with it.
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