Sarah had C, again, today,
Sarah is Deaf. In case you had forgotten. Deaf as in Deaf not dumb.
Sarah has told me quite a bit about C.
C is lazy.
Sarah knows this because she knows that C, has ASL skills.
She doesn’t’ know this from C’s signing. C, is absolutely terrible. Sarah can’t understand anything she is signing because she signs it word-word-word, in English word order, and without using any grammar.
So how does Sarah know that C, is lazy? Because C, unlike many of the interpreters, can understand Sarah’s signing-, which means that’s he knows ASL. She is just too lazy to bother wasting her energy to interpret anything. She will sit there and get paid for sitting there, but G-d forbid she should actually expend any effort.
Today, C, came into the first class carrying a large cup of coffee from Einstein’s bagels.
Sarah used her detective skills and quickly realized that the coffee was the extra large size and the extra caffeinated variety, as well.
She figured this out because C, was having a hard time keeping her eyes open.
C, drank the large cup of coffee and then sat there as the caffeine seeped into her bloodstream and as her bladder filled.
And she nodded off, Her eyes closed and her head went off to one side, and she sat that way, motionless, as class went on.
Of course, it didn’t’ really make any difference to Sarah, since C, refuses to sign intelligibly.
In fact, it was an improvement, because instead of watching gibberish, Sarah got top watch C, slip a little further to the side with each passing minute.
Sarah was intrigued, she was wondering if there would come a moment when C, would just fall over and go splat on the floor.
Sarah was thinking that the other students might find I amusing, if it did.
But, just then, the end of class bell rang, and C jerked awake, almost falling over in the other direction. A shame that class was 17 minutes shorter than usual today, because of homeroom.
Maybe, tomorrow.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Story of the Day 2/22/2011
Aaron has a stand-up gig, tomorrow night, so he has been practicing a couple of new jokes on me.
The topics are masturbation and girlfriends, and porn and girlfriends, and sperm donors and girlfriends, and I know I am a Jewish mother, because while he is doing this the only thing going through my head is , “how can I get him to find a nice Jewish girlfriend?”
The topics are masturbation and girlfriends, and porn and girlfriends, and sperm donors and girlfriends, and I know I am a Jewish mother, because while he is doing this the only thing going through my head is , “how can I get him to find a nice Jewish girlfriend?”
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Story of the Day 2/ 20/ 2011
Aaron has been cleaning out his room.
Yes, we finally let him move out of the basement that doesn’t’ exist.
Anyhow, he has been cleaning out his room. Several bags of clothes to the thrift store. Lots of trash to the trash barrel, and today, 3 boxes of comic books. And since he is short of cash (since he hasn’t gotten a job, yet), he took them to the comic book store, hoping to sell them and get some green stuff.
He walked in and set the three boxes down.
The store’s manager went through the boxes and then told him, “We aren’t interested in any of these. None of them are old enough.”
Aaron cheerfully replied, “Well, I’ll just come back in 40 years!” And took his boxes back out to the car.
Yes, we finally let him move out of the basement that doesn’t’ exist.
Anyhow, he has been cleaning out his room. Several bags of clothes to the thrift store. Lots of trash to the trash barrel, and today, 3 boxes of comic books. And since he is short of cash (since he hasn’t gotten a job, yet), he took them to the comic book store, hoping to sell them and get some green stuff.
He walked in and set the three boxes down.
The store’s manager went through the boxes and then told him, “We aren’t interested in any of these. None of them are old enough.”
Aaron cheerfully replied, “Well, I’ll just come back in 40 years!” And took his boxes back out to the car.
Addendum for 2/17/ 2011
Sarah was told she is scheduled again, for this Friday.
Hopefully, they will be finished with triangular prisms, by then.
Hopefully, they will be finished with triangular prisms, by then.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Story of the Day 2/ 17/ 2011
I have a friend who is also blessed with two Deaf children. Her daughter is the same age as Sarah and in 10th grade at a different high school.
One day, her daughter had an interpreter for a drama program and the interpreter, in the process of relaying information, kept signing “vagina” instead of “triangle.”
I greatly enjoyed it when she shared this story with me, because it made me feel like my daughter is not the only one who gets these highly skilled interpreters.
Well, today, Sarah comes home from school. She tells me that the substitute interpreter that she had, today, kept signing “vagina” instead of triangle. This was in math class, and since they are learning how to calculate the total surface area and volume of triangular prisms, the word was in constant use.
I have emailed my friend. I had to. I had to ask her if it was the same interpreter. I sent her the name.
You see, I would like to think that there is only one such highly skilled interpreter in the State of Indiana, but I am afraid that may not be the case.
Incidentally, the highly skilled part is the scary part.
The interpreter that Sarah had today is nationally certified. Of course, as my friend Cindie would say, “And whom did she have to sleep with to get it?”
At least she had the vocabulary for it.
One day, her daughter had an interpreter for a drama program and the interpreter, in the process of relaying information, kept signing “vagina” instead of “triangle.”
I greatly enjoyed it when she shared this story with me, because it made me feel like my daughter is not the only one who gets these highly skilled interpreters.
Well, today, Sarah comes home from school. She tells me that the substitute interpreter that she had, today, kept signing “vagina” instead of triangle. This was in math class, and since they are learning how to calculate the total surface area and volume of triangular prisms, the word was in constant use.
I have emailed my friend. I had to. I had to ask her if it was the same interpreter. I sent her the name.
You see, I would like to think that there is only one such highly skilled interpreter in the State of Indiana, but I am afraid that may not be the case.
Incidentally, the highly skilled part is the scary part.
The interpreter that Sarah had today is nationally certified. Of course, as my friend Cindie would say, “And whom did she have to sleep with to get it?”
At least she had the vocabulary for it.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Story of the Day 2/10/2011
It was a bad karma day, at least for my car.
On my way out to pick up Vandra, my car slid on a very icy patch. Not badly. Mostly because I was only going about 5 mph , because of the ice.
It settled with the passenger side tires just slightly into the snow that was massed up to the side of the cleared area- cleared being a relative term, since it was covered with somewhere between 4 and 6 inches of ice.
I rocked the car as best I could, but it was stuck.
Fortunately, a handsome young man came to my rescue, and the two of us dug the car out of the snow- which was also really ice- since it had the same 4 to 6 inches of ice crusting it.
After about 40 minutes of hard labor, the hard labor being breaking through the ice surrounding the stuck tires- my car was free and I got it back up onto the road. Where it was stuck. This is because it was now on a sheet of smooth, lovely ice, and without the momentum that had caused the original slide, the tires couldn’t get up enough traction to move the car…..
Fortunately, my car has these nice floor mats, and just a couple of minutes later, I was really free from eth slick ice.
And I gave a big hug and kiss to that nice handsome young man who is also my son. Maybe I will let him move out of the crawl space.
Well, maybe.
On my way out to pick up Vandra, my car slid on a very icy patch. Not badly. Mostly because I was only going about 5 mph , because of the ice.
It settled with the passenger side tires just slightly into the snow that was massed up to the side of the cleared area- cleared being a relative term, since it was covered with somewhere between 4 and 6 inches of ice.
I rocked the car as best I could, but it was stuck.
Fortunately, a handsome young man came to my rescue, and the two of us dug the car out of the snow- which was also really ice- since it had the same 4 to 6 inches of ice crusting it.
After about 40 minutes of hard labor, the hard labor being breaking through the ice surrounding the stuck tires- my car was free and I got it back up onto the road. Where it was stuck. This is because it was now on a sheet of smooth, lovely ice, and without the momentum that had caused the original slide, the tires couldn’t get up enough traction to move the car…..
Fortunately, my car has these nice floor mats, and just a couple of minutes later, I was really free from eth slick ice.
And I gave a big hug and kiss to that nice handsome young man who is also my son. Maybe I will let him move out of the crawl space.
Well, maybe.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Story of the Day 2/7/2011
My son is editing his movie. The movie he made the summer after he graduated from high school.
He is wearing his hearing aids.
This is good because he is trying to locate where to add music in the background. He is also working on finding just the right music. He is thinking of using the same site he used for his Rap video.
With great delicacy, well, great delicacy by my very low standards, I said to him, “Um, Aaron, it might be good if the music for this movie is a little more melodic.”
“That’s okay, I am going to write it myself.”
I would feel more reassured if he weren’t’ deaf.
I would also feel more reassured if the reason he is wearing his hearing aids was to help him work on the music for the video.
It isn’t. He is wearing them so he can practice his stand up routine.
He is wearing his hearing aids.
This is good because he is trying to locate where to add music in the background. He is also working on finding just the right music. He is thinking of using the same site he used for his Rap video.
With great delicacy, well, great delicacy by my very low standards, I said to him, “Um, Aaron, it might be good if the music for this movie is a little more melodic.”
“That’s okay, I am going to write it myself.”
I would feel more reassured if he weren’t’ deaf.
I would also feel more reassured if the reason he is wearing his hearing aids was to help him work on the music for the video.
It isn’t. He is wearing them so he can practice his stand up routine.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Story of the Day 2/ 4/ 2011
Today is day 4, or maybe 5 of Aaron searching for himself.
I mean, not wearing his hearing aids.
Of course, he is still speaking to us, using his voice, and I noticed him singing, at least, I think it was singing, on the sofa, earlier this afternoon. But he is living in his nice quiet world and having lots of time to think.
Which is what is scaring me.
A few minutes ago, as I was peeking into the oven to see if the onion pies I am making for Shabbat dinner are ready, he comes up to me and asks, “Is it hard for parents to decide what are appropriate interests they want to encourage with their kids? “
“Well, there are not exactly lessons on it, and not every parent has the same idea of appropriate.”
“Well, I want you to know that I am sorry for everything that I put you and dad through with my inappropriate behavior.”
I had to think a minute.
“You mean all the drugs and the unprotected gay sex?”
“No, I mean the wrestling.”
I must have given him a dumbfounded look, because he explained.
“You know, I used to be interested in professional wrestling. And it now occurs to me that it is a really disturbingly violent.”
“Aaron you were 10, okay, maybe 12.”
And he was upset back then because of the scantily clad women who were shown between bouts.
Meanwhile, he also assured me that he uses protection for heterosexual sex.
So, I am relieved on that accord.
I mean, not wearing his hearing aids.
Of course, he is still speaking to us, using his voice, and I noticed him singing, at least, I think it was singing, on the sofa, earlier this afternoon. But he is living in his nice quiet world and having lots of time to think.
Which is what is scaring me.
A few minutes ago, as I was peeking into the oven to see if the onion pies I am making for Shabbat dinner are ready, he comes up to me and asks, “Is it hard for parents to decide what are appropriate interests they want to encourage with their kids? “
“Well, there are not exactly lessons on it, and not every parent has the same idea of appropriate.”
“Well, I want you to know that I am sorry for everything that I put you and dad through with my inappropriate behavior.”
I had to think a minute.
“You mean all the drugs and the unprotected gay sex?”
“No, I mean the wrestling.”
I must have given him a dumbfounded look, because he explained.
“You know, I used to be interested in professional wrestling. And it now occurs to me that it is a really disturbingly violent.”
“Aaron you were 10, okay, maybe 12.”
And he was upset back then because of the scantily clad women who were shown between bouts.
Meanwhile, he also assured me that he uses protection for heterosexual sex.
So, I am relieved on that accord.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Story of the Day 2/1/2011
Today is day two of Aaron in his natural state. No, he is wearing clothes; he just isn’t wearing his hearing aids.
We are in the middle of some bad winter weather. Bad as in ice storms. Everything was closed, today- the schools, the schools, the schools, and a whole mess of other things.
My husband drove off to work, this morning, and made it! And was also kind enough to call his worried-to-death-old-wife to let me know that he arrived safely at the office.
So Aaron is running around au natural, and, about 45minutes ago, he let me know that he was going over to Ethan’s.
I asked if he was driving or walking.
“Walking.”
”Well, take your cell phone and a hearing aid, in case you fall down and break something and I need to come get you!”
As you can see, I am making sure to meet my Jewish mother daily minimum-worry-requirement goal.
Then he reminded me that he can text from his cell phone.
When my husband came home, he asked where Aaron had gone.
“Without his hearing aids?”
My husband’s jaw dropped open, and stayed that way for more that 45 seconds.
We used to have to wrestle them off of him at bedtime. For a while, we gave up on winning the fight and just waited until after he was asleep to carefully pry them off his ears without waking him.
Oh wait, that is not why his jaw dropped open, it dropped open when I read him Aaron’s email to me, when he gave me permission to post yesterday’s story. His comment about ” it being part of “his “spiritual journey of self exploration.”
Then Larry asked if he had been smoking pot when he wrote that.
We are in the middle of some bad winter weather. Bad as in ice storms. Everything was closed, today- the schools, the schools, the schools, and a whole mess of other things.
My husband drove off to work, this morning, and made it! And was also kind enough to call his worried-to-death-old-wife to let me know that he arrived safely at the office.
So Aaron is running around au natural, and, about 45minutes ago, he let me know that he was going over to Ethan’s.
I asked if he was driving or walking.
“Walking.”
”Well, take your cell phone and a hearing aid, in case you fall down and break something and I need to come get you!”
As you can see, I am making sure to meet my Jewish mother daily minimum-worry-requirement goal.
Then he reminded me that he can text from his cell phone.
When my husband came home, he asked where Aaron had gone.
“Without his hearing aids?”
My husband’s jaw dropped open, and stayed that way for more that 45 seconds.
We used to have to wrestle them off of him at bedtime. For a while, we gave up on winning the fight and just waited until after he was asleep to carefully pry them off his ears without waking him.
Oh wait, that is not why his jaw dropped open, it dropped open when I read him Aaron’s email to me, when he gave me permission to post yesterday’s story. His comment about ” it being part of “his “spiritual journey of self exploration.”
Then Larry asked if he had been smoking pot when he wrote that.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Addendum to Story of the Day 1/31/2011
I send my stories to my children and friends for permission and corrections.
When Aaron wrote back to me, today, giving e permission to post this story he added this sentence:
P.S. You might want to mention that I am doing this as part of a spiritual journey of self exploration
When Aaron wrote back to me, today, giving e permission to post this story he added this sentence:
P.S. You might want to mention that I am doing this as part of a spiritual journey of self exploration
Story of the Day 1/31/2011
Another interpreter, today.
And Sarah knew, from her first sentence, that it was going to be a bad day.
She introduced herself by saying “Hi, my name is…” which was a bad start, since the grammar was all wrong. And it went downhill from there.
Most of it was so bad that I can’t even repeat it, because that would be mean. Most of it.
Of course, I suppose it wont kill to repeat the one incident of the day that was, at least funny. Sarah was asked a question by her teacher. The interpreter couldn’t read Sarah ‘s finger spelling and answered, “meow” instead of the correct answer. This unexpected feline cry caused her teacher to raise an eyebrow. Fortunately, he doesn’t think that Sarah is quite as retarded as that answer was.
While this was going on, Sarah’s brother Aaron was trying to right the wrongs of the world. Well, to be specific, he was trying to show enhanced sensitivity to his younger sister, so he has decided to spend a few days not wearing his hearing aids , so that he can experience being deaf , first hand.
He thinks that, at the very least, it will help him to remember to sign to her.
This went well except for two things. First of all, I didn’t’ realize he was doing it and I spent several minutes chatting away to his smiling face without getting much of a response. If I had been close enough for him to speech read, he might have kept up the illusion of hearing a little longer, but….and , second, a neighbor spotted his car in the driveway, while I was out, and knowing that he was home rang the bell. And rang the bell. And rang the bell. And then she worried that he was hurt, and called me.
I will need to make a sign for the front door that says, “He is home, but he is practicing being deaf. Please come back when he returns to being his regular insensitive self.”
Or something like that.
I will let you know how his exercise in empathy is going.
At any rate, over dinner, he said to me, in ASL ( so there as been some improvement), that Sarah is weird. When I realized what he had said (he needs to work on his grammar, although, it is better than most of the terps Sarah has at school) , I looked at him and replied “ That must mean that she is not adopted.”
And Sarah knew, from her first sentence, that it was going to be a bad day.
She introduced herself by saying “Hi, my name is…” which was a bad start, since the grammar was all wrong. And it went downhill from there.
Most of it was so bad that I can’t even repeat it, because that would be mean. Most of it.
Of course, I suppose it wont kill to repeat the one incident of the day that was, at least funny. Sarah was asked a question by her teacher. The interpreter couldn’t read Sarah ‘s finger spelling and answered, “meow” instead of the correct answer. This unexpected feline cry caused her teacher to raise an eyebrow. Fortunately, he doesn’t think that Sarah is quite as retarded as that answer was.
While this was going on, Sarah’s brother Aaron was trying to right the wrongs of the world. Well, to be specific, he was trying to show enhanced sensitivity to his younger sister, so he has decided to spend a few days not wearing his hearing aids , so that he can experience being deaf , first hand.
He thinks that, at the very least, it will help him to remember to sign to her.
This went well except for two things. First of all, I didn’t’ realize he was doing it and I spent several minutes chatting away to his smiling face without getting much of a response. If I had been close enough for him to speech read, he might have kept up the illusion of hearing a little longer, but….and , second, a neighbor spotted his car in the driveway, while I was out, and knowing that he was home rang the bell. And rang the bell. And rang the bell. And then she worried that he was hurt, and called me.
I will need to make a sign for the front door that says, “He is home, but he is practicing being deaf. Please come back when he returns to being his regular insensitive self.”
Or something like that.
I will let you know how his exercise in empathy is going.
At any rate, over dinner, he said to me, in ASL ( so there as been some improvement), that Sarah is weird. When I realized what he had said (he needs to work on his grammar, although, it is better than most of the terps Sarah has at school) , I looked at him and replied “ That must mean that she is not adopted.”
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