Story of the Day 10/22/2010

When Sarah’s English teacher is absent, he always arranges for Mrs. Bowman to be his sub. She is an older woman who just loves substitute teaching and just loves the students. She is always telling them what beautiful young men and women they are. She says, “You are all such beautiful young men and women.” Only she doesn’t limit it to that one sentence, she goes on and on about it.

“You are all beautiful and wonderful young men and women. You are all the best and most wonderful students because you always bring your best attitudes to this class!” And wait, it doesn’t stop there- but just by saying these few lines, an entire generation of North Central High School students know exactly whom I am writing about. I have heard this dialogue repeated over the years, by Esther and Aaron and Kara and a few other kids who had her.

But, today, Mr. Coleman was out, unexpectedly, and there was a different sub waiting for the class. This was a young man with a pair of dark rimmed glasses and a rather nervous and excited air about him.

Sarah’s English class is third period and third period is when announcements are made.

When I was in school, announcements were broadcast over the PA system. Someone in the principal’s office would read off what was for lunch and if the football team had miraculously won and a variety of other important items. Nowadays, it is all high tech. Announcements are made on a television set up in each classroom. It isn’t even “live” , but is a collection of video clips, ads, musical numbers and the like meant to get the students to come to the football game or join some interesting club.

After being reminded by Sarah’s interpreter to turn on the television for the announcements, the sub and the class listened and didn’t watch (the apathy level being too high for this) until they were done. Then the sub emphatically flicked off the television monitor and said “Bye!” That was his most restrained moment of the morning, or at least of the class.

The students were supposed to have a test. And he passed it out, or did something that looked a bit more like flinging the papers like Frisbees, according to Sarah’s description. It was a short test, and when it was over, he turned to the interpreter and asked, “Can I go to the bathroom?” The interpreter was a bit stunned and said, “It is your decision.”

When he returned from the bathroom, he called his girlfriend up and had a conversation with her that lasted several minutes and was about having chicken for dinner. This conversation was loud and engaging for many of the students, even though they really were not all that interested in the chicken.

When he finally hung up, and had dramatically (and with lot of arm flapping) replaced the phone in his man purse, he looked down at his pants and noticed a stain. He then made a big point of explaining to the class that the stain was from that morning’s coffee, and not from anything else they might think. He said this as he pointed to the stain that was on the inside of his pants leg. Of course, the stain was yellowish.

Then he asked the students if they wanted to hear his music from IHome. It was Rap. And please don’t’ ask me what IHome is.

While he was sitting at the computer trying to set this up, the secretary came in and asked him for the report cards that hadn’t been handed out to the students who were absent… He waved over towards the desk and told her to get them herself. The secretary acted a bit stunned.

And when he got his music to play….the words were…well, he quickly realized that maybe he should Not be playing his music for the class. He said as much, “No, no, no, that is not very appropriate! No, no, no I can’t play that!”

He did have some sensibilities, though. Before class was over, he asked the entire class to please not gossip about what went on it the classroom.

At any rate, the next time that Mrs. Bowman is the sub, I have a feeling that the students will really appreciate her. Sarah has assured me that she will.