Story of the Day 6/ 27/2011

Here we are enjoying Lynne’s and Joe’s wonderful hospitality in Garnet Valley.

Their hospitality is especially wonderful, not only because they overfeed us, take us to fun places, watch irreverent movies with us , but because we are not allergic to them. I mean to their house! We are not allergic to their house! Often, when we visit with people, our visit is punctuated by pill popping, our pill popping. Every couple of hours we are trying to do the math to see which antihistamines and decongestants we can now have more of. “Did I already have 3 red pills today? “ “Can I have another Claritin , yet?” “ I took my allegro 180 6 hours ago, can I have….yet?” How many benadryl can I have? “ And that doesn’t’ even include all the rubbing on of hydrocortisone and the inhalers being puffed. And, even after all the doping up , we are sniffing and sneezing and coughing and wheezing, and thrilled to leave.

But Lynne is even more allergic to the world than we are, so a visit to her nice sterile, well dusted home- a home that has no furry pets, no mold problems, no pollinating the air plants doesn’t make us sick!

So, here we are, eating and breathing and being entertained…and today is Jennifer’s party. Lynne was invited. And she planned on attending. After al it is a Pampered Chef party.
If you don’t’ know what Pamper4d Chef party is , it is the equivalent of a Tupperware party, but not for people who need nifty storage solutions for their kitchen, rather for people who like nifty tools that do things in a very specific ways. For example, there is a foolproof measuring cup,. It isn’t really mad fort fools like me, because I don’t’ measure anything- or if I do, I just grab any old cup or mug, and that is just so I don’t’ accidentally spill the entire container of oil into the bowl, this is more for people who want it to be very exactly 1/3 of a cup, or ¼ of a cup, and instead of having to look for the correct little line while they are pouring their cooking oil, they get to “pre-set” the cup.
They also make things like melon balers and vegetable peelers.

Obviously, such tools have great appeal for someone like Lynne, who likes to actual add the amount of oil the recipe calls for, and who actually reads the recipe instead of doing what I do which is to get out the recipe card and then totally ignore it.

This is probably why I own 7 or 8 fancy vegetable peelers.

You see, every time Lynne comes to visit , she brings one. She brings one because she knows that even though she has already given me several, I haven’t used it since the last time she visited, and have no idea to where it may have migrated. I would own more than 7 or 8, but the house fire took care of the earlier collection.

At any rate, after I am dead, my children will indubitably find a wonderful collection of very nice vegetable peelers while they are cleaning out the house.

So Lynne has been invited to the party to buy a vegetable peeler for the next time she comes to visit me, but since she is busy feeding us, and that means having to run out every other day to buy another car-load of groceries ( we eat a a lot), she has made a decision…she can’t go to the party.

But the party is important, because Jenn is doing it as a fund raiser for their synagogue, so Lynne can’t just not go.

So she is sending Joe.

Except I am wrong, apparently, even Lynne now has enough vegetable peelers set aside for her next visit to Indiana, so she wasn’t actually planning on attending, in the first place; she was always planning on just sending Joe to lend moral support.

And so he could eat chocolate.


Joe doesn’t’ really care about vegetable peelers, but Lynne did mention the fact that Jenn is serving chocolate.
Joe likes chocolate.

Lynne has very carefully explained to her hubby that the party will be at Jenn’s house at 10:30.
About 15 minutes after she explained this, Joe came back into the room and asked her , “What time do I have to be at Jenn’s?
This is not a criticism, it is more a statement of how I must actually be related to Joe and not to Lynne, since h4e appears to have my wonderful memory, or lack thereof.

At about 10:15 , Lynne , the kids and I took off for the grocery store, and Joe took off for the party.
At 10:40, while we were looking at different containers of cottage cheese, Lynne received a text from Joe.
“I am here at the party, but only one other person is here and the building is locked.”
Locked? Building?
Joe went to the synagogue.
And so did someone else.

Lynne is saying “ How could he do that? I told him it was at Jenn’s, and then he asked me what time he had to be at Jenn’s.”
Which he did.
But , sadly, I can tell her how he managed to do that, remember, he is the oen I am related to- maybe not by blood, but by brain patterns.

It worked out well, though.
Joe made it to Jenn’s and to the party. And they hadn’t run out of chocolate.

And while he enjoyed himself, he sent Lynne the following text, “Wish they did something like Pampered Chef for sex toys.”
A text that crossed it’s path with one sent to him by Lynne, “ Trying everything?”
To which Joe responded, “No , that is why I was wishing for sex toys.”
And Joyce just said she didn’t’ have enough toys as a kid.”

No, I don’t’ know who Joyce is. But I do know that they actually do have these parties for sex toys. I have a friend whose mother sells for a company that makes the toys.
And I am wondering what sort of snacks they serve at them.

And, Lynne tells me that she actually had a sex toy party, once. And for snacks, she served booze.

But she didn't invite Joe…….