Story of the Day 12/ 22/ 2011

This evening is the third night of Hanukkah.

We lit the candles, and then, as we do in our family, we exchange gifts.



We are cheap.

That is the nice way to say it. Certain children of ours have used much less flattering terms to describe how we do gifts.

Years ago, we set the $40 limit. The kids could pick out whatever they wanted for a total of $40. They could get a few smaller gifts, one large and one small, or one that cost the entire $40. But that was it.

Ely, in particular , didn’t like this.

It didn’t match up with how his friends’ families did things. There were no IPODS, the year they came out, or the year after that, which fell into the $40 or less category, and yet, many of his friends got one, as just one present of a slew.

Of course, we also managed to be the family that did not go to Hawaii, Disneyland or Europe for any of our vacations. That was another major disappointment in having us as parents.



And that $40 limit was for the kids.

Our limit for ourselves used to be $10.



When the kids got older, and the decade changed, we raised it, slightly. Nowadays, if one of the kids chooses a book that cost $43 before tax, we will usually say yes. Usually.

And , my husband and I decided that we would do better just buying what we want for ourselves and handing it to our spouse to wrap and give to us, and forget about that $10 limit.

As a result, we have started spending more and more, every year. This year, for example, my husband bought 3 CDs and a calendar for me to give to him. Can you imagine? Oh yes, and a book. I forgot about that.



I bought a jacket ( used) a brooch and a really nicely scented bar for soap from Trader Joes that I was being too cheap to buy for myself sans this good excuse. And I gave them to him to wrap for me, although, I told him he has to clean the jacket first, since the person who last owned it smoked. It is a dry clean only jacket, also, so that adds $1.99 to the cost…..



We also add a little bit- a few small surprises. This year, to add to what he handed me to wrap for him , I got him a $10 gift certificate for Half Price Books. Then I went back and got another one and put them in an envelope together and said “ for a hot date!” , so now he has to share it with me! And no, I am not worried he will read this before I give it to him because he doesn’t usually read my stories.



Tonight, it was just the two of us. Ely has not yet arrived from New York, Aaron is off in Israel, and Sarah went with the girls’ basketball team to Terre Haute. Terre Haute is a long drive west on route 70 , and she is not expected back until 11 PM.



So the two of us were lighting candles and exchanging gifts, and he hands me a small box , nicely wrapped. This is different from what I hand him, because I do not …well, I used to tell people, like teachers, when I gave them their gifts, that my kids had helped me to wrap the gifts. To prevent this from being a lie, I would have my kid hand me some tape. The problem is that the kids got older, and no self respecting ten year old would admit to doing anything that looked like something I have wrapped.

So, Larry hands me a nicely wrapped small box. Smaller than bread box, larger than a piece of jewelry. And light in weight.

And he says to me, “I was saving this for tonight, because Sarah isn’t home.”
And I thought, “ Is this a sex-toy? Edible underwear? A negligée?”

Well, the last time he got me something to wear to bed, it was flannel pajamas, and this didn’t weigh enough or take up enough room to be that. And I think that the image of me in a scant negligée or something like that might dampen any ardor, not increase it….so let’s forget about that.

And I couldn’t’ think of any sex toys that weighed this little, and ………



I opened it.



And it was what you see in the picture at the start of this story.



Of course, the first thing I saw were the large letters saying “First Check”. And I thought, “Does he think I am pregnant? I really do need to lose weight!”



Then I read the smaller print and realized it was a drug test.



And I thought, “Does he want to check Ely when Ely comes home?” I mean Ely occasionally has a drink, but not even his overly neurotic mother has suspected him of doing drugs. I mean, without a prescription.



I voiced my confusion.

“Open it,” replied my hubby.



He had reused the box, thinking it was a very funny package , for a bracelet.

It was.

And I will now save it and reuse it.

Although, maybe for something for one of the kids.