Story of the Day 5/ 8/ 2012

Sarah wanted me to drive her to school, today.
This morning.
She hates the bus.
She gets bruises.
It is too crowded.
She gets bruises because it is too crowded.

When I was in high school, sometime the bus would be too crowded and we would have some kids sitting 3 to a seat. This was tough. The 3rd person would have to position themselves in such a way that they were not thrown out across the aisle every time the bus lurched. since I grew up in the foothills of the Appalachian mountains and the bus' route wound up and down and all around, and the paving was...chuck hole ridden, there was a lot of tossing.
If you were one of the unlucky third "henchmen" you earn quickly to sit facing the center, with your legs bracing you from being thrown.

Well, Sarah says that her bus is crowded.
There are no single seats left, by the time she is picked up.

Single seats.
Sarah is complaining that she has to share the seat with one other student?

"But," as she explained to me, "the kids are tall and solidly built!"
I thought a moment. I visualized the jumbo sized kids from next door, and behind us and down the block. Any one of which was twice the size of the kids I went to high school with.
At least.

But I still didn't want to struggle with the traffic at 6:30 AM, and waste the gas, and the time.

So I thought about it, and I made a suggestion.

"Sarah, fart a lot. When you get on the bus, fart. Wait ten seconds then do it again. By the time you do it a third time, you will have a seat to yourself. And if you do that two days in a row, I bet you can have your own seat for the rest of the month."
Which also happens to be the rest of this school year.