Story of the Day 11/ 11/ 2009

I was looking at funeral arrangements. Not making an arrangement for a funeral- but the flowers.
I didn’t’ want to be doing that, but I think that is what most people would say, looking over the selection, unless they were from the rival Mafia family that had ordered the hit.
And they probably don’t’ get their flowers from Costco. Although, how would I know. I move in such lowly circles that I don’t’ even know anyone to ask.
Now, you might think I wanted flowers to go with a Costco casket.
I did a Story about them umpteen years ago- a Story which I got to revisit recently, due to being greeted, early in the morning, by a news bit that Wal-Mart has decided to compete with Costco.

This Story is from my pre-Blog years, and took a little bit of digging to locate. It was rather hard moving those megabytes around on my computer, and I had to do quite a lot of dusting, but…..

At this point, I am going to paste in some old Stories that predate my blog- so that you are at about the same point in the story that I am.

Story of the Day 10/02/07

I planned a rather normal day for myself. The late morning was dedicated to buying groceries.
I don’t’ get there every week, but one of the places I shop is Costco.
Today, it was my first stop- I had on my list to get salmon and milk (they have hormone free) and eggs, and light bulbs.
We have been gradually replacing our light bulbs with compact fluorescents. They save energy and money and are better for the environment. They don’t add heat to your house in the summer. BUT, the part that my husband likes best is that they last longer- so they have to be changed less frequently.
Of course, they can cause confusion.
Compact fluorescents take a few seconds longer to turn on.
Not that long ago, a friend was over here and headed down the hall, probably to the bathroom. She flipped the switch to turn on eth light in the hallway, then impatiently kept flipping it back and forth – and finally said, “I think your bulb is burnt out!”
I told her to wait, and I went and switched it on- and told her “ wait a minute!” and there was light. A bit pale, but very functional. I explained to her that her rapidly flipping the switch wasn’t allowing it enough time to come on.
Anyhow, we were out of them, so I added them to the list.
I had never bought them at Costco before, but had a vague idea where the bulbs were and headed off in that direction.
If you have never shopped at a wholesale store, you have missed the experience of having very poorly marked isles with all sorts of things you never expected to run into when shopping for milk and eggs.
They have bathroom vanities, and washers and dryers, and steel multi-drawer tool chests.
None of that surprises me.
But, I was surprised.
Did you know that they also carry caskets? Yeah, coffins. The fancy decorated metal ones they stick dead bodies in and then bury.
A very lovely display right back there near the light bulbs.
My first thought was, “This really isn’t an impulse purchase item, but it also isn't’ something you would go hunting down aisles to find.”
I mean, how many people make a trip to Costco looking to locate a coffin?
How many people would even think of it as a destination for that destination?
Then I thought, “I wonder how many of these they sell?”
Because part of how these big stores operate is by volume- they sell a limited selection, but a lot of that item…
Any guesses?
And would you go there to buy one?

Story of the Afternoon 10/02/07
I’ve had two wonderful emails, this afternoon- both in response to the Story of the Day, and both telling me of the same interesting development in eth casket business.
Apparently, with a little adaptation shelves can be added and caskets can be used as bookshelves until one’s demise.

Pat wrote me that she wondered if one would fit in her pantry- and if it did, would she and her husband have to compete to see who got to use it?
I suppose you could use more than one set of shelves.

I can see other problems, however. A person dies, and not only do you have to deal with all the other arrangements, and tearing out some shelves, you also have to rearrange your books or food or whatever it is to empty them. And dust. Well, maybe your bookcases are never dusty!
What if you are absentminded, does that mean your spouse gets buried along with your McCormick spices, or the half eaten box of saltines?
If it is your favorite Faulkner novel, it would be rather rude to remember it at the funeral and go rummaging under your spouse to get it back!(I will assume that no one I know s desperate enough to dig up a grave for a book or two!)
I can see other problems, I mean, you could be the person who is handy enough to put those shelves in yourself, but if not, you would call up a carpenter or handyman/woman and ask them to please put some shelves in your casket. I can imagine that this would go over very well.
I can tell that I am going to spend all evening thinking about this while I am drawing

Story of the Afternoon 10/02/07
PART TWO
Sharon Riley emailed me:
Gives a whole new meaning to “Honey, some day, this will be yours…..”

The Story of the Afternoon
Part 3- 10/02/07
Part three? I have never done a Part 3 before, but this story just won’t die.
Okay, that was a very bad pun.
Charles Ballinger sent me a website for a religious order that makes very beautiful wooden caskets. Still not “kosher” for the Jewish clientele, but they would make truly lovely bookcases!
http://www.abbeycaskets.com/index.asp



Back to the November 11, 2009 Story of the Day :

Despite the late start in the casket business, Costco has been selling tem since….., Wal-Mart expects to do a brisk business. All bit one of their caskets goes for under $2,000. The one pricey one is a specialty bronze model for folks who want to go in style.

But as I lamented in my Face Book status update, that doesn’t’ help us Jewish folks, who need a wooden box with some holes and no metal nails, but my friend Nancy Casey , who has obviously given this much more thought than I have, informed me that they have actually been selling Jewish caskets for years. Labeled banker’s boxes. I mean, you have to fold them into shape by yourself, but , hey , a t that price.

Of course, as I told her, they also have linen. We could just go in and get 8 yards and save a bundle. Or 8 ½ , if grandma was a bit chubby. And she , Nancy- not my grandma, said it would not be a bad idea to buy it in bulk.
Though, as I pointed out, we should be careful not to charge the rat poison on the same card.
We have similar families. Well, maybe hers has more class.
Wait, maybe one of her relatives can tell me where the Mafia orders their flowers from……