Story of the Day 1/ 8/ 2012

It was the 6th phone call that got to me.
Not the first nor the second nor the third.... Of course, two of them were made necessary because I had been disconnected. From customer support from Apple.

At the start of the first phone call, the woman speaking with me asked for my telephone number, in case we were disconnected.
We weren't. She was even able to help me with the first part of the problem. But not with the second.
She transferred me to someone who specializes in that kind of an issue. And that person transferred me to someone else who specialized in what he didn't specialize in.
That third guy, well he was the third person, but the second guy, told me to use iDVD. This is because we couldn't get the dvd to burn.

Okay, "we" could. "We" being Sarah. I am merely the person stuck making all of the phone calls.
That is because I can hear, all-be-it poorly. Sarah cannot. She is profoundly deaf.

We have a videophone, and theoretically, she can use it to call customer support, and then the person at technical support can act like a total idiot about using the relay interpreter.
But Sarah cannot do that because our videophone is not working.
Well, it is working, but like many things that we touch, it works....sort of.
We can get phone calls. We just can't make them.

Of course, we also cannot actually get any phone calls on the videophone unless you call us on the voice phone and ask us to turn it on, or text us on one of the cell phones, or maybe even email us.
That is because Sarah is so popular that she gets 25-30 calls a day, from the same person, if we leave it on. So to avoid thinking violent thoughts, we leave it turned off.
Unless you use one of those other methods to contact us.

And don't worry, the person calling her doesn't read my blog.

So, I was stuck making the phone call, even though I struggle to hear some of the tech support people and even though I break out in hives if I get within 5 feet of the new computer.
And I have to explain to the tech support person that I will be interpetering for my kid, and they need to be a bit patient for this process.
As you can see, we are not popular.
The tech support people were probably just transferring me around because they were freaked out by this whole process, which is why we really need to get the videophone fixed, so they can really get freaked out.

"What do you mean you are interpreting for someone using ASL, I can't see you, so how can you be doing that?"
I am not making this up. I have heard that exact argument more than once.

So, the third tech support person- and this was still just the first phone call- told me to use iDVD. Which I tried to do.
Unfortunately, I tried to do this AFTER he had hung up.
It didn't work.

We tried this and tried this and tried this, because the guy from Apple said to do it.
And I finally called back.

"Oh, we just got an email about that a few days ago!" Said person number 5, during phone call number 2. (Well, he was the fifth person altogether, but only the second one during the second call).
"You have to use..." And he named a different program. Movie Gate? Video Gate? something like that. Don't expect my brain to retain this. Especially since those also didn't work.
Of course, it took an hour to figure that out.
It took downloading it, transferring the files, and trying to burn a workable dvd.

Phone call number three...I was disconnected.

Phone call number four, the mechanized system, computerized system that was developed by a sadist refused to recognize my speech.
Over and over and over.
"If you mean P" press one." "If you mean B, press 2", But I didn't mean either of those. I kept starting again and starting again and starting again.
I hung up, after about 5 times around.

Phone call number five. The guy again asked me for my contact phone number. This was good, because about 7 minutes into the conversation,more or less, we were disconnected.
So I hung up,and sat and waited to be called back.
And waited.
And waited.

Maybe he doesn't hear well, either,and he wrote down the wrong number.

At any rate, it gradually dawned on me that I was not going to be called back, at least no during the next 100 days of the warranty.
Phone call number 6, and I have now totally lost track of how many people I have spoken to, but the guy I ended up being transferred to looked up my computer's serial number,and it turns out the computer isn't registered to me.
Gee, I know that.
I bought it. I paid for it.
My charge card was used.
But it is my kids'. Aaron's and Sarah's.
Aaron's because he needs a computer for video editing, assuming he is going to do that again, at some point,now that he is 6 months behind in captioning the one video, and Sarah who is trying to use it, right now, during break to do a project...that has to be mailed on Monday morning, tomorrow.
Okay, not really, it could also be mailed tomorrow afternoon.

And a program was purchased, at the same time, from Apple. Actually, a few were. Some sort of word program and another video editing program and one that burns dvds.
Do not ask me about this- remember, I am not allowed within 5 feet of the computer unless I have a lot of Benadryl handy.

I explain and I give my children's last name.
And, for the second time, I explain why he gets to speak to me. I am wondering if he wants me to mail him a copy of their audiograms.

"Deaf- you know, can't hear for shit, especially on the phone because it is hard to read your lips."

No.
It isn't registered to them, either.

I tell him I have the order information. I pull it up on my email . I have saved all of those important things. That and a lot of spam, as well.
I read him the order number.

It is not my computer. It is not my kids' computer. His records do not match.
I get his email address at work.
This is hard.
I can't hear for shit, although, compared to my kids, my hearing is incredibly much like a super-power.

I tell him, after he has said his name a couple of times and spelled it that he needs to tell me a word for each letter, because I cannot figure out what letters he is saying. I can hear the "I" and the "A", and a consonant. One consonant.
He spells it again, giving me a word for each letter.

I send him a copy of the email from Apple that says that I and only I ordered and paid for the damned computer.

In the meanwhile, he is not supposed to help me figure out what to do with the computer, since it isn't mine, or my kids' and I have no right to be calling technical support for help. But he will make an exception, this one time. Especially since the correct program is on the computer that we do not own.

At this point, we are several hours into calling Apple, the kids have run off, and it is little old me in front of the computer.
And I am NOT touching anything!

I tell him I am writing it all down on a pieced of paper for them to follow, later, and to go slowly.

He does.

I write it down.

When Sarah gets home, about 290 minutes later, she stares at the paper.
It was written down carefully, but my handwriting is illegible to normal people, and to her, even though there is no chance that she is normal, be real, because she is my relative.

So she follows the instructions as I sit next to her and read them to her. Which is somehow reminiscent of how we make phone calls.....

And it works.
On the computer that apparently someone else owns.

Don't worry, I thanked the guy.

He also said that he would get back to me, or that someone would, to get this straightened out.

It is odd.
I mean, if someone buys something using my credit card number- without my authorization- you know, like when someone stole my credit card number and bought 21 laptops, I did not end up paying for the goods.
I make a report, and it is taken care of.

Actually, when that happened, the credit card company called me, they were a tad suspicious as to why I would want 21 laptops from 21 different businesses (one from each) shipped to a country in Africa.

But, in this case, I am the person who used my credit card; I bought the computer; it is sitting here, but Apple says it isn't ours, so we are not entitled to technical support (and probably not to service under the warranty), because we do not own it.

I doubt I can call the charge card company about that, but....