Story of the day 4/ 19/ 2012

I have to deal with Jesus.
Which can be uncomfortable.

So , I made my son handle it.
Which, I know, made Jesus happy, because I am sure he was praying that he would not have to deal directly with me.

You see, last week, Jesus called.

He wanted to know if he could cut our grass, again, this year.


He calls and he says, "This is Jesus."
I had to explain why this was odd, to Sarah.
Sarah cannot hear.

People who are Spanish speaking and who are named "Jesus" pronounce the names first letter with an "h" sound , not a J sound. But someone must have told Jesus that People in the United States , people like me, who do not speak Spanish, pronounce it as a "J" sound. So he calls and tells me that Jesus is calling.

I explained to Sarah that "Jesus" pronounced with the "J" sound was only done in reference to the Christian god, or by people who were sure they were Jesus, and whose current or soon to be address was the stress center at one of the hospitals, or perhaps, a more permanent placement on the street corner, depending on how well they did on their new meds.

So, today, when he showed up to mow the grass, I had to explain to my friend, who had stopped by, that Jesus was mowing our grass, and that I had to pay him.
My friend's eyebrows went up. I am sure she thought that people from small towns in Ohio do not know how to pronounce that name correctly.....so, I had to explain that it really was "Jesus" who was mowing my lawn- and that neither he nor I needed any meds.

At least not because of that.

That was not what was uncomfortable about dealing with Jesus.......
You see, , I have asthma , and when he is mowing, and for a good 30 minutes afterwards, I cannot go outside unless I want to immediately need my inhaler.
But I have to pay him.
When Aaron isn't home, this means taking a huge lung full of air and making dash to wherever Jesus is , and handing over the check, while I turn pink, and then red, and then blue- and then try to get back inside before I need to inhale.

And you thought I never got any exercise.

Of course, I have the money in one hand, and my inhaler in the other, and about 1 time out of 4, I end up needing the inhaler.
Jesus has seen this, and he is fervently praying I am not home alone, in which case, I make my son go take care of Jesus- I mean that I make Aaron give Jesus the cash or the check.

In a sense, his mowing provides both of us with religious experience.
In a very broad sense of the term.